Attempt #1

     I've been trying to write something a little longer than blog posts over the past month or so. And while I usually like to keep things to myself until I feel I've perfected them, I'd also like to make sure I'm on the right path (or at least, not making too many huge mistakes) before I get too far. If you've got some time (since the story is already over 23 pages), please read and give feedback on what I've got so far, posted here. Thank you!

A shift in ones point of view

     I recently interviewed for, and was accepted to, a new job,

Although

     I won't be starting until the new year (giving two weeks' notice),

This means that

     I know I will have solid income again soon,

Therefore

     I don't have to stress about money,

So

     I am able to appreciate what I do have right now,

As a result

     I can deal with the troubles I have to put up with for two more weeks.


     Funny how one little thing can change so much. Being stuck in a loop wears you down so slowly that you don't even realize it. Knowing that the loop is about to end, even if it hasn't happened yet, makes everything so much better. So here's to aiming for new things: it make take a while, but it'll be worth it in the end. 

Keep it short?

     One of my French teachers once told me that, as a graduate student, she was given a very specific writing assignment. First, the prof had them write a five-page paper about a topic of their choice. After being turned in and graded, they were given back their papers and told to condense it into a 3-page paper. The same thing happened again: break it down into a one-page paper. Then three paragraphs, one paragraph, five sentences, and one sentence. The last stages of the assignment were to get the ideas conveyed in the original five-page paper across in five words, three words, two words, and finally a single word. What an incredible challenge.
 
     That story has stuck with me since, and I finally realized the importance of it this week while (where else?) in the shower. I've been wanting to get back to writing stories again for a while- not these blog posts, but actual "make up a world and everyone in it" stories- but I'm having troubles writing. Remembering my teacher's story made the light go off in my head: Our society has trained us to be as succinct as brief as possible. Granted, many people are not effective at it, but we all still strive for it. Hurry, hurry, be brief, get to the point, stop beating around the bush, summarize, use abbreviations, shortcuts, text speak, hashtags, keep it less than 160 characters.

Being sick

     Three weeks ago, I started getting a sinus infection.
     Two days in, it became apparent it would be a bad one, and I got medicine.
     That night, I realized I was one of the 12% that got insomnia as a side effect of the medicine.
     But if I didn't take it, I got headaches from the sinus pressure and couldn't breathe through my nose.
     Two weeks ago, my gentleman brought home the cold bug that's going around.
     And gave it to me.

     For two weeks, I slept less than one hour every night, usually on the couch, because I didn't want to wake my gentleman up (also because, once he got sick, he was snoring like a chainsaw). The first few days were the worst, because I kept hoping it would get better, or the other medicine I was taking to try to get some sleep would kick in, and I'd be able to pass out. After a while, though, it caught up to me, and I spent both days and nights in a mostly-coherent zombie state. I literally hated everything, living or dead, and had to move slowly in order to a) understand anything, b) not run into walls more than usual, and c) not start lashing out at things that really weren't the cause of my problems.

     A week ago, I felt well enough to just take the cold medicine, not the sinus stuff that was giving me insomnia. The first night, I slept for four hours, and life started looking better. My gentleman was still in the middle of being sick, though, so I was still mostly sleeping on the couch. By the middle of the week, I was sleeping for eight hours, and even ventured back onto the bed for some of that time. Finally, a couple nights ago, I was able to sleep not only all night long, but also all night long on the bed. And suddenly, literally overnight, my perspective changed.

     They say you get sick as a reminder to appreciate what you have when you're well. I have to say, sleep deprivation is a darn good way to realize that. There have been problems gnawing on my consciousness for a while now, and finally getting a good night's sleep helped put them in perspective. Sometimes, you just need a solid wake-up call (heh) to reorder your priorities. So while I'm not thrilled that I was so horribly sick and sleep-deprived, I'm glad I got things straightened out. And I really, really appreciate a good night's sleep now. Cheers!

Best friends, for 15 minutes.

     A couple months back, my gentleman and I bought an automatic laser kitty toy to keep his cat busy. She is decidedly of the portly persuasion, and we figured that we'd be able to turn the toy on while we were busy, and she could chase the laser around for exercise. There was a bit of a problem at first with getting it to sit correctly so it didn't either go all over the wall and furniture (where she'd either ignore it or claw the furniture to pieces), but a convenient roll of duct tape serves to keep the thing balanced nicely. While it's a little loud, it's nice to know that kitty can play on her own while we get things done.

     Kitty has learned that the "click!" of it starting means there's a red dot to play with, and comes running. She's oddly shy about batting after it when we're around, but since the toy has a 15 minute timer on it, we just turn it on, walk away, and let her at it.

     The other day, I happened to be just one room away while the toy was working its magic on kitty, and I'd tuned out the noise it makes. I was pretty engrossed in what I was doing, and was slightly disoriented when the noise suddenly stopped. It took me a second to realize the timer had been tripped, and the toy was turned off. I was about to get back to work when I heard a single, soft, sad little "meow…" of kitty realizing her playmate had vanished again.

     Who knew an automated laser could have such an affect? I went and turned it back on, and she promptly ignored both it and me. At least until I left the room. 

Cross-promotion

     For those of you who don't keep tabs on this sort of thing, I started a business this year, making hats and bags for cosplayers (Steampunk in particular), and those of us who don't fit the "one-size-fits-most" hat sizing that women have been saddled with. As the winter's coming on, and things get colder, I discovered that my go-to hat, which is unlined, does absolutely nothing to keep my head warm when the wind comes through. So, the latest offering from the store is a fully-lined hat made from old tweed jackets that covers the tips of the ears (for those of you without thick hair to keep them warm). Go check it out!

New winter hat, the first of many!

Time and books

     When I was younger, I read a book about Merlin and King Arthur that suggested the reason Merlin was so wise is that he lived backwards in time. Therefore, to him, everything was clear as day, because it had, in a sense, already happened.

     Now, first of all, to a linguist- even a young, untrained one- this brought about a fascination with the problem of verb tenses he would have to use. If it were true, and his intellect was running backwards through time and into a progressively youth-ing (roll with it) body, then he'd have started off as a doddering old man with no idea how to speak, take care of himself, or reason. Ok, fair enough, that's how a lot of lives end, so makes sense, and he'd be so venerable and respected by then that there probably would have been people to help him.

     But think of the problems with language acquisition! No one's going to babble baby-talk or use simple words to someone they believe to be wise beyond everything. If Neil deGrasse Tyson walked up to you, pointed at a dog, and said "What's that," you'd be confused as all heck, think it's a trick question, and answer with as many details and scientific facts as possible! Ok, maybe that's just me, but you see my point?

Testing a style

     I've been working on something in my off time, and while it's still in its infancy, I'd be interested in getting some feedback. Click here (it's a blog post, safe for work, no popups or noises) to check it out. Thanks!

Reasons why I love French

     In an effort to retain (and expand) my French abilities, I bought a number of random books in French from a used bookstore. One of them, a collection of letters written by the second wife of Louis XIV, might sound horribly dry, but is of particular interest to me, what with the French play I was in about how she came to be queen. The play was fantastic, if slightly stressful, and made history all the more fun to learn.

     In reading the book, a number of things stand out. For one, people at that time used to write a lot more about their feelings, their thoughts, and their affections for each other. This is probably due to the tediousness of writing with quill and ink, and the fact that a letter took hours to write, and days or weeks to be delivered. If that was the only way to stay in touch with people, you would naturally want to give them insight to who you are and how you feel, rather than just facts and getting up-to-date on what's going on. While I see how it is probably not everyone's cup of tea, it is absolutely beautiful in French, and makes one feel calmer and more at peace in a world where beauty and joy are often overlooked.

     One of the phrases she uses, in speaking of her solitude and loneliness in a cloister after the king's death, comes when she mentions that food is no longer of particular interest to her:

Il faut nourrir la machine quand c'est le coeur qui meurt de faim.  

It is necessary to feed the body, while the soul dies of hunger.

Unfortunately, it loses something in translation; the word she uses for the body- a machine- implies the separation of the clinical physical needs of a being from the boundless passions of the heart and soul. When you consider that this is a woman who lived in Versailles at the height of French fashion and modernity, yet loved the king so much that she advised him against marrying her, for the sake of his political position, it speaks volumes about the importance she placed on physicality vs passion.

     When people learn that I am a polyglot, one of the questions they inevitably ask is "which is your favorite language?" Without hesitation, I always firmly reply, "French." They frequently seem shocked that I don't even have to stop and think about it, but I have yet to meet anyone who speaks French and another language who didn't love it. Don't get me wrong, Arabic has a rich history, Russian is pretty (in it's own rough way), Gaelic is comforting, and sign language expressive, but French just has a passion for life that I haven't found anywhere else. Whether good or bad, full of suffering or elation, the French language just seems determined to grab life by the throat and wring every drop of passion out of it as possible. 

     Perhaps that's why we've stolen the phrase "joie de vivre" from them: because no one else is so full of life. Cheers!

Pictures vs words

     A gentleman came in to where I work recently, and struck up a conversation while he was waiting. After a while, it turned to the fact that I used to drive tow trucks, which means I try to drive more safely, having seen the results of reckless (i.e., wrecked) diving. That, of course, set off a chain reaction in my head which lasted most of the way home and ended up here.

     They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and while that may be true, I would argue that those thousand words are neither cohesive nor compelling. Consider this picture:

Looks ugly, huh? You can tell it was a pretty bad accident, and people probably got hurt. If you have enough time, you could probably tell the picture was taken in a dirt lot where other wrecked cars have been bought and stored. If you're a connoisseur of tow trucks, you might even be able to tell how it's hooked up to the truck that's dragging it. BUT. There's a huge story that you're missing out on, and that's where the human element comes in.

A new concept on work

     My boss at the new job surprised me today, the third day of working, when she seemed very concerned about how well things were going for me. I'm used to being thrown at a pile of work, and told to sort it out, so I was a little curious exactly what was going on. The coworker who was showing me some of the ropes I'll be working with waited until the boss left, and enlightened me. She said, "The boss just wants to make sure that you're settling in, because she's going on vacation in two weeks, and doesn't want people coming and going while she's gone. If you decide this isn't the job for you, she'd rather know now than when she's not here and has to struggle to find a way to cover what you do."

     This, honestly, blew my mind. My attitude towards work has always been such that, once you accept a job, you're there. You've decided. You're sticking with it. Unless things were grossly misrepresented to you (something that has only happened twice to me), you've accepted the position and have a decent idea of what it entails. More so because my current job involves... clerical work. Paperwork. Some phone calls. Filing. More filing. Learning codes. More filing. Get the idea? Not difficult or hard-to-learn work. It's day 3, and I feel like, if everyone else got sick tomorrow and couldn't come in, I could do a decent job holding down the fort with a minimum of "crap, what do I do next?" phone calls.

     So to me, the thought of just... giving up on a job after three days is totally foreign. I've worked jobs that I don't particularly care for, or that aren't my forte or goal in life, but I've only twice hit the point where I've given up on a job: the first time because I was flat-out lied to about the position I was being hired into (they gave the temp secretary the job I interviewed for, and stuck me at the front desk instead), and once because "weekends off" meant- to me- that I didn't work weekends at all, while to the boss, it apparently meant you go home Saturday morning and be at work Sunday night. So far, the only thing I've run into at this job that isn't what they told me is that everyone is super nice, and very patient with the new chick who knows absolutely nothing about medical billing. Truly, a fate worse than death.

Good news/ bad news

     One of my friends wrote me an entire three-page letter like this once. It's since become a pattern in my brain, because it lets me work through what's going on in my life, it doesn't matter if there are lots of random tangents, and whichever one you end up with more of, usually gives you an idea of how well things are going.

Good news: I got a job!

Bad news: It's part-time.

Good news: It fits in well with my school schedule!

Bad news: It doesn't actually pay all my bills.

Comparing yourself

     Have you ever noticed how some people tend to only compare themselves to the best of the best? You can look at something they do that looks fantastic, but when you say so, they just pass it off with a flip of their hand. Ever wonder why people do that? Here's why:

Okay, okay, there are also people out there who are fishing for compliments, playing the faux humility card, or just have low self-esteem, but... the people who honestly pass it off and move on to the next thing do it for motivation. Here's how people like that think:

Priorities

     I am often amazed at what other people think is important. It doesn't bother me that our views (obviously) conflict rather frequently- some people pay attention to news, fashion, computer gadgets, celebrities, etc, and as long as they are happy with their lives and do their best to be decent people, then whatever. But now and then, something smacks me upside the head at how drastically different people's priorities can be.

     When I was in high school, the parking lot was pretty much chock full of crappy, old, used cars. You knew who the rich people were because they would have a shiny new car, with a good paint job, new tires, maybe even the sticker still in the window if they were real vain show-offs. For the most part, though, kids got either what they could afford, or that old junker car that the parents didn't want anymore, so it got passed down to the new driver while the adults got a shiny new toy. Rust, dented bumpers, and the occasional car that qualified as a classic, though in need of repair, were common. Sometimes you even got the pleasure of learning how to team up and push-start a car, or help push a friend's jalopy around to the nearest gas station if the fuel meter didn't work right.

My first car was this, but in an institution-puke-green color.

Random sketches

   Occasionally, I do random sketches for friends when they're feeling down or annoyed. I appreciate it, because it lets me express art in a way that doesn't need to feel finished. I don't stress over it, or worry if this one line is off- just sketch, photograph, send via email or text, and scrap. I usually don't even know what is going to be drawn until the pen hits the paper, and something starts coming out. Here are two that have come up recently.

1) Tony.
   Tony got a start when my friend Shay needed inspiration to keep mopping the floor. I totally messed up the very first line of whatever I was trying to draw, and it ended up getting turned into Tony- the cheerful, upbeat, inspiring male cheerleader. Go figure.

2) Poor Saul.
     Poor Saul got started when both a friend and I were extremely frustrated at tasks we "had to" be doing. I grabbed an old piece of homework, turned it over, and draw this guy:

The line that accompanied him was "At least you're not stuck in a paper jail, playing a badly-drawn harmonica, with bubba waiting behind the scenes for the music to stop."

Hey, there's truth to that. It could be worse.  

Business is open!

     Hey all, hopefully this will be settling down here now that the business is officially open. If you haven't seen it, the website is here, and the store itself is on Etsy. Stop by and see what's been sucking my time away!

     In other news (yes, there is other news even with a new business),  I've decided to start my own dance group out here, as the ones I'd found aren't quite as demanding or graceful as I'd hoped. I made a deal with my old teacher out in Colorado, and we're going to try a distance learning thing via Skype/ video recordings. I've also switched to a Russian server in WoW in order to keep in practice, and boy does that help! It takes me about six times as long to do quests than it does in the English version, but my vocab and even grammar is getting one heck of a boost!

Quest log: I'm sorry, you want me to do WHAT now?

     In light of these and other changes, I've also decided to drop the online Masters classes I'd signed up for, until I know what my income levels will be. I'm debating a couple alternatives to keep me busy, such as kickboxing through the gym where I'll be dancing, and any number of language classes at the local community college, but that decision has to wait til I see how the business will do. If it takes off, then great! If it is a gradual takeoff, then I'll go sign up with a temp agency to keep me busy (and paid) until it's a means of support.

     So while things aren't super settled in yet, I have a couple plans, and feel like I'm on the right track. Thanks for your patience, and I'll be putting things up here occasionally, as life gets less hectic (ha!). Cheers!

Staying busy

     Well, I promised you guys that I'd have a decision by now, and after some thought, I've decided to scale back. I've been working on starting a business this past month, and once it launches this Friday (website here, if you're interested), I'll be able to have an idea of the time commitment necessary to keep it running. Once that happens, I can figure out whether to apply for a full-time or part-time job, or if I need to go looking for employees of my own (wouldn't that be nice!).

     Long and short: I'm feeling a little busy, and want to focus on the new business. I'm not giving up on the blog, because I do enjoy telling stories and drawing things, but I think it'll be on a sporadic, as-things-come-up basis, rather than scheduled weekly posts. Still, this summer marks three years of putting memories, thoughts, concerns, and considerations up here, so I think it went pretty well. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you again, I'm sure. Cheers!

Hiatus

     Due to schedule changes, rethinking things, and not liking to fall behind on schedule, I am going to take a (hopefully short) hiatus from posting while I work some things out. One way or another, there will be something posted by the beginning of August; here's a quick something to consider til then.

     I am one of those people who loves and hates schedules. On the one hand, I really need deadlines to motivate myself to do things, but on the other, after a while it starts feeling like a chore. Generally speaking, I try to step back and re-evaluate my life, my outlook on things, and what I've committed myself to about every 6 months. I realize, however, that I haven't done that in a while. First it was "gotta finish up the linguistics degree," then it became "gotta add Russian to the mix," then "just gotta finish Russian, make it through graduation," "no wait, gotta make it through the move," and now, I realize, it has become "gotta find a job!"

FTP 56 - Learning

And yet society has taught us, these days, that we should fear failure. There is a difference between striving for success, and being so wary of someone else finding out that we fail- an integral part of reaching successfulness- that you don't even try. 

Buck society, try new things, fall on your face, pick yourself up, and keep going. There is more shame in stagnation and backwardness (in my opinion) than in trying and failing until you make it happen. Cheers!

Job search, part 3 - Interviews

     I suspect that I am not alone when saying that interviews are stressful. You have a limited amount of time, sitting in a room with strangers, to explain how you work and how you can directly benefit them while trying not to sound like a braggart or a liar. While there is some prep work that you can (and definitely should) do, such as researching the company website and re-reading the job posting before you go so you know what, specifically, they're looking for, it's still being put on the spot.

     For the longest time, I approached interviews as one would an interrogation: prepared to answer any question, and slightly suspicious of ulterior motives help by those in charge. It wasn't until I moved out to Colorado and went to an interview while tired and jet-lagged that I realized I was doing myself a disservice by approaching it thusly. In that interview, I just acted like myself, said what crossed my mind, and actually took one of the interviewers to task for asking insulting questions in a snide tone of voice. I was later informed that he did that to everyone, and only people who stood up to him and didn't take his crap were hired. I don't think that's a particularly great way to conduct an interview, but it helped me realize I needed to change my view.

Delay til Tuesday

Still working on getting my schedule worked out, so today's post is going to be posted tomorrow. There may be some changes to the posting schedule in the future, but for now, it's just one day behind. See you tomorrow!

For now, just remember it could be worse; your day could be something like this:

Cheers!

FTP 55 - Weird

     Remember Disney's version of Alice in Wonderland? While it wasn't quite faithful to the book (what movie ever is?), I remember being amazed at how many little details of weirdness they put in it, and wondering why Alice didn't want to stop and check them all out.

But realistically, when life gets weird, sometimes all you can do is keep going, try to keep your head above water, and hope that you reach the end before your ability to deal with it all runs out. Accept that life is bizarre, shake your head that it's happening to you, and keep going. Eventually, things will return to normal, and you'll have some fantastic stories to tell. 

Job search, part 2.

     Last week, we talked about the frustration of finding jobs to apply for, given financial considerations and employer expectations. Regardless of what you are looking for, however- with the possible exception of an "I'm a millionaire and just need something to pass the time" situation- I think that having to look for a job at all is a rather depressing situation. Because let's face it, what you're trying to do is sell yourself and your past to someone who has a whole slew of people clamoring to do the same. And while you know that you're awesome, intelligent, and a much better choice for that position (you hope) than anyone else, they don't. For those of us who aren't natural-born salesmen, that's a problem.

     Despite my ability to describe other things fairly well (and the fact that I write a blog about myself on a regular basis...), I abhor the whole "talk yourself up" thing. Part of this is that I hold myself to some pretty high standards, but since I've done it for so long, what is "normal" to me (and therefor not worth mention) is worth mentioning to others. I've gotten compliments at various workplaces before about "Wow, you got that done well before it was expected!" or "Why did you admit to making a mistake? No one wanted to deal with the cleanup there?" and stuff like that. The thing is, those are just standard for me: doing things ahead of schedule- or on time at the latest- and owning up to your mistakes (so you can learn from them and help the people who were affected by them) are standards, baselines, ordinary things that are done everyday just because they're the right thing to do. But how do you get that across?

FTP 54 - Sometimes

     Sometimes, all you can do is sit down, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that none of the drastic ideas in your head are good: the best thing you can do is be patient, and keep at it. It's not always easy, but it's always true.

Well, unless you're James Bond. Then drastic measures are probably good. Shy of that though, go with the deep breath. 

Job search, part 1

Recent checklist: 

     -Graduation? Done

     -Move? Done

     -Help out a friend (which I'd been promising for years)? Done

     -Settled into the new place? Done

     -Job? ....... well........

     There's something horribly depression about looking for a job, and it's not just that the current economy is pretty nasty. It seems like, no matter how many times you have to do it, and regardless of what new level of education/ experience/ skill set you have, job hunting is mentally and emotionally wearing. When I was younger, I figured that it was just due to lack of skills and experience, and it would get easier as I got older. Then before I went to college, I figured it was a lack of that pretty little paper saying you're horribly in debt (no, I'm not cynical at all), because the most random jobs were looking for it. Want to be an insurance agent? Need a diploma. Want to be a delivery person? Need a diploma. Want to wash elephant feet after parades? Need a diploma. Really? Wow.

Late, again

     Sorry guys, today's post is going to go up on Tuesday. Been reworking the schedule, and missed the deadline. Since, however, I have been dealing with the job-hunt depression, it will be a real one, not a "wah, woe is me, I have no job" whine. In the meantime, here's my excuse. See you tomorrow!

FTP 53 - Connections

     A couple years ago, I was randomly browsing the internet and came across this picture:

It really made me smile, and I kept it around, pulling it out every now and then when I really needed a smile. I think it's the concept that, no matter who you are, you can make someone's day by taking a moment and letting them learn, explore, try something new, or expand their horizons. And even if it's something that you deal with every day, and it has become blasé to you, you can still be happy, watching them delight in whatever it is.

     Things like this are what keep us all human, and let us connect to each other. The two people in the picture are pretty radically different, but they shared this moment, and it continues to touch others. Keep that in mind the next time someone is eyeing you, or you see someone with whom you think you couldn't possibly have anything in common- you may just be surprised. 

Monday

     The past two weeks have been ridiculously busy, so I'm just going to admit that I have nothing prepared for today. The only big news is that the job hunt continues with no major breakthroughs, and that Maryland is a ridiculously expensive state to live in. Whee!

Hope your week goes well!

FTP 52 - Attitudes on the road

     One of the (many) things that I wanted to keep a close eye on when I moved from the midwest to the east coast was my attitude while driving. Having learned to drive in the DC area, it was quite a shock to go out to Colorado and have people actually be nice and move aside to let me pass if they were going slowly. I took complete advantage of it for about a month, and then started thinking about how maybe- just maybe- if they were able to do it, maybe so could I. Slowly but surely, I became a calmer driver, slowed down (a bit), and realized that, if I drove better, I would arrive at my destination maybe a minute or two later, and in a lot better mood. Moving out here, I'm fighting to hang on to that and not revert to the "I'm important so to heck with you" attitude.

     One thing I noticed, however, is that a lot of the east coast attitude seems to hinge upon the desire to judge and improve those around you, rather than yourself. I could be wrong in this, but the message that I see when someone cuts in front of someone else and hits the breaks (if the road is otherwise clear) is that "you're driving slowly and holding people up, so I'm going to show you what it feels like." Or perhaps, "you pissed me off, so I'm going to piss you off." Not because it will actually improve anything- because let's face it, all that attitude is likely to do is continue a cycle of anger and aggression- but because of the first driver's desire to make the offending driver aware of a) first driver's existence, and b) first driver's presumed superiority.

     Along the lines of "wouldn't it be nice if we all just got along," I'd like to add my take on it: "wouldn't it be nice if we could all just concern ourselves first with improving ourselves, and only secondarily with judging and critiquing others." Wouldn't it?

Brilliant stupidity

     The past week had been quite busy, with applying for jobs, helping out friends, and buying, selling, and moving stuff around inside the house. It's slowly coming together, although there are still boxes here and there full of less important things that we'll get to... eventually. For the most part, however, things are where they ought to be, and we've been able to turn our attention to things we want, but don't have (but can still afford: sadly, a brand new yacht is not in the works just yet). As such, a trip to Ikea was made, and we got to break out the tools to set up new stuff.

     One of the things I have always wanted is a nice, big, sewing table. It's very annoying to try to lay out a seam for flat sewing when the wall is only 5" past the sewing machine, and the table you're working on is flexing under the weight and vibrations of said machine. Unfortunately, most heavy, solid tables are also ridiculously expensive, so when I found a series of choose-your-own table tops and legs at Ikea, I was thrilled that the large table tops were a) solid, b) cheap, and c) fairly lightweight still! For $26, I got a 60x30" table top, and four adjustable legs were a grand total of $14. Considering you can't find an adult-sized work desk for less than about $100, I was in heaven.

FTP 51 - Home

     Finally getting things together, but even when it's not finished, a home means a lot to the people living in it. What stories are you making, wherever you are now?

Still moving in

     Still moving in and getting settled; my computer is standing in the middle of a room full of boxes,  running on a wireless internet connection. I'll get things sorted and get back to writing eventually, promise...

     In the meantime, a short story: when I was working at the tax office this past spring, we had a temp worker in who would try to guess what I was humming (I tend to sing or hum when I'm doing menial tasks in order to keep my brain occupied). I started humming a familiar tune, and he finished it off with "POP, goes the turtle!" I stared at him, confused, and he said, "what, that's not how it goes?" In order to commemorate the moment when this guy finally caught up with the rest of the world, I drew this on his whiteboard:

Cheers!

Quick update, post-move

     I am alive, and made it through the trip from CO to MD unscathed! My car suffered some minor damage, but it appears all of my stuff made it unbroken as well, which is highly appreciated. While things are not completely settled in the new place, we do at least have all the furniture where it ought to be, and basic internet connections set up. With luck, posts will resume Monday as per usual, probably with a recap of the move. See you then!

Moving Day

     Made it 440 miles to Salina, Kansas. So far, the ride has been fairly flat and boring; the most exciting event so far was passing a herd of buffalo on the side of the road. I'm all graduated now, and only 1300 more miles to go to a new chapter of life. Woot!

Counting down: 4 days

     This past week has been a frenzy of packing, taking things to the thrift store, taking things to the dump, saying goodbye to people, and preparing for the move that will happen this Friday. My mind isn't doing much better than last Monday, which is not the greatest, because I have my last final exam today at 4pm. I think I know what is needed for it, but the way my brain is(n't) working lately, I'll be lucky to find the right language to work in when I get there.

Though my confusion is from mental exhaustion, not pot.

FTP 50 - One week to go

     In seven days, I will be on the road, with all of my worldly goods in a trailer behind me. The good news is that this week has been a substantial improvement over last week: I finished my Russian paper early, got the trailer situation sorted (mostly), have almost everything packed and sold, and have finally gotten confirmation that yes, we will have an apartment come the 10th.

     Does that stop me from occasionally wanting to run and hide in a corner, overwhelmed at all the changes going on in my life? Heck no. I'm pretty sure that if I live to 100, there will still be a part of me that wants to do that when faced with the unknown. However, I refuse to let that part be the one in charge. So, here's hoping things all work out! I've made all the preparations I can, time to jump and see where I land. Cheers!

Counting down: 11 days

This is me today:

Because this was me all week/ weekend:

FTP 49 - Don't give up yet

    This has been an absolutely horrendous week. Everything has gone wrong, from food being spoiled to kicking myself with a hardshoe, from the trailer I ordered being lost by the shipper to having my computer mysteriously eat three hours worth of work on my final paper... Almost every single area of my life has had something go seriously wrong with it in the last seven days.

     And then, out of nowhere, my aunt and uncle- who have been like parents to me out here- call me up and tell me that a relative is selling their trailer, nearly the exact same one I ordered but with a floor and sides already built, would I be interested in buying it? Heck yes I would. A little later, I finally suck it up and get back to work on my annihilated final paper, only to find out that I'm typing better and more easily than I thought I would, and having to look up fewer words. My gentleman called and said he got a job lead from his chiropractor, and gave me his email address to get in touch.

     No, it doesn't change the fact that this past week has been absolutely horrible. But... things do get better. And if you choose to look at it from a different point of view, there are also a lot of things that could have gone wrong, but didn't. The old cliché that it's always darkest before the dawn isn't factually true (I stayed up one night to check), but it's a good adage to live by. 

Moving prep

     Let the countdown begin! I just realized today that there are only 19 days left until I leave this place for good and start working again, hopefully with something relevant to my degrees. This past weekend was taken up with putting a trailer hitch on my car, and rewiring the back end to add a plug for trailer lights. It took a little bit longer than expected, but I had a huge amount of fun with my (awesome) aunt, uncle, and cousin. The trailer itself didn't show up, so I get to go back up there next weekend and spent more time with them, putting it together. I've been selling stuff on ebay and craigslist, and pretty much everything superfluous to daily life is either sold, boxed up, or waiting to be donated, which makes the place rather bare. No worries though, because I have an 8-page final paper (in Russian!) due in less than two weeks, and I expect that to take up most of my time and attention.

     I won't lie, it's all a little overwhelming, and both my attention span and sleeping patterns have taken a hit because of everything going on. I've got an impressive number of lists going, and if something isn't on my calendar, well, it basically doesn't get done. Not because I don't care about it, but just because I only remember about 6 hours too late to do anything about it. As someone who is usually quite orderly, this is more than a bit disturbing, but I'm trying not to let it get me down. Remember those positive websites I linked back here? They're getting heavily used, trust me.

FTP 48 - Worn down

     Ran across this the other day on the internet, and it's sad how true it is, and how often it happens, not just on the internet.

Credit, I think.

Don't let the naysayers and jerks get you down. If you have an idea, do what you can to make it work. If you give it your best, and it doesn't quite fly, well, at least you tried. It's better than becoming another naysayer and shutting down someone else's creativity, and the more you work to make things happen, the more likely it is that at least one of them will!

Jury Duty, part 3 - deliberation and verdict

(continued from part 1 and 2)

     The first thing that we were told to do was choose a foreperson. The door had barely closed behind the Clerk when one woman stuck her nose up in the air and declared "I want to be the foreperson!" The rest of us kind of looked around and shrugged, because we didn't really care, but it wasn't really the best of starts. Continuing in her attempts to make herself unpopular, said woman (whom we'll call Patty- I have no clue what her real name is) declared, "Well, why don't we start out with a preliminary vote, just to see where everyone is?" Again, the rest of us shrugged and nodded. Patty asked, "All those who think he's guilty?"... and eleven of us raised our hands. She looked around at all of us, sniffed, and  said, "Well, I don't, and my parents taught me never to give in just because of what other people think, so this is going to be an interesting day, isn't it?" Ugh. 

     With twelve people in a room, there are obviously going to be overlapping conversations, so I won't even attempt to try to report everything that happened, or exactly who said what, other than me and Patty. I'd already decided I didn't like her, so I shut up for a good long while. In the mean time, following a moment of stunned silence at her declaration of whatever, here's a really, really rough outline of the main points:

Jury Duty, part 2 - the trial

(continued from part 1)

     After all- and I do mean all- of the applicable laws and considerations had been read to us by the judge, we finally got down to the actual trial. Since the burden of proof is on the prosecution to show that a crime had, indeed, been committed (remember that whole innocent until proven guilty thing?), they got to go first. The prosecuting lawyer stood at the podium and, in his best "I am a responsible member of society" voice, explained the police's side of the story. Here's a brief overview.

FTP 47 - Criticizing yourself

     This one took me a while to figure out, but once I did, the change was amazing. Go on, give it a try.

Jury Duty, part 1

     About two months ago, I received that dreaded form in the mail that said I had to report in for jury duty in my county. Normally, this wouldn't have phased me, as I've been a panel member on the student council for cheating and plagiarism at my college, and I'm a pretty firm believer in participating in our justice system (especially having been to other countries where justice isn't really a right). I was slightly concerned this time, however, because my jury duty day was set to start literally four days before I was due to get on a plane for spring break.

     Despite the timing though, I was pretty happy about the idea. It seemed like I was the only one who was, however, because with only one or two exceptions, every single person I told about it offered their sympathy at having to go in and contribute to what I feel is a reasonably fair justice system. After a while, I just stopped trying to explain that it didn't bother me, because people weren't listening. Only one other person- ironically, the only other person who had actually served jury duty- offered congratulations and reassurance that they'd work with me to make sure I didn't miss my plane.

FTP 46 - Negative news

     A friend texted me this week feeling very upset and angry at the world. After some conversation, it turned out that she'd been reading the news, and found an extremely disturbing new article on a topic she was very passionate about. I've occasionally noticed that I, too, get caught up in the media when issues close to my heart are at stake, and will click around multiple news websites to get every bit of information I can on what's going on. Unfortunately, all this really does is keep exposing us to the things that upset us, and we enter a nasty little downward spiral of finding things to feed that indignant feeling.

     Being a good friend, however, I did for her what I try to do for myself when this happens: google "good news," or "feel good news," and read and watch videos until you get a smile back on your face. (Some of my favorite sites are linked at the bottom, if you have a hankering for something to make your day brighter). Before you go saying that it's just a method of burying your head in the sand and ignoring the horrible things going on, however, I'd like to point out that horrible things are going on every second, every day... but so are good things. Why should we focus only on the negative?

     Another argument in favor of watching happy news is simply logic. I figured out a while ago that there are only so many things I can deal with in a day. If I burden myself with things that I truly, honestly have absolutely no way to influence, then all it's doing is making me feel bad. But if I focus on a few things that I can affect positively, and then fill the rest of my time with things that positively affect me, then a) I feel better, b) I have better energy to put into the things I can do something about, and c) people around me pick up on the fact that hey, life isn't all that bad. And then they in turn can perk up and pass that on to others. Not a bad way to live, really.

Good sites:
Feel Good News
Huffington Post's collection of positive stories.
Pictures, videos, and news articles from around the world.
The aptly named Optimist World.
And of course, no list is complete without Lolcats.

Enjoy!

Chatting with strangers

     I’ve never really figured out what the standards for my shyness are. Generally speaking, I don’t like talking to people from whom I need a favor, and I abhor talking about money (I am a horrible haggler). I’m not fond of socializing in large groups of people, and I have a low-level dislike of humanity as a whole. Yet, when I’m standing in a line, or waiting for a plane to take off, or just randomly passing people on the streets, I have no problem chatting with them and starting up a friendship. Perhaps it’s the level of engagement that’s involved, I don’t know. But I am continually fascinated by how much information and background you can get from a totally random person just by saying hello.

     This past week was spent looking for a place to live with my gentleman after I graduate. We looked at a couple different places, and finally settled on one that, while not perfect, is acceptable. After we gave the go ahead for the agency to hold it for us, we took some time, driving around the neighborhoods and shopping areas nearby, to get a feel for what there was. One of the things that I saw and really liked was what looked like a neighborhood pool, basketball court, and community center not two blocks away from where we will be. Curious, I asked Angel to stop in so we could inquire about rates and suchlike.

Spring Break

     Spring break started, for me, this past Thursday. Given the usual irregularity of plane tickets, it turned out that leaving early would save me a couple hundred dollars in airfare, so I sacrificed a day or two of work in order to get the lower prices. The flight was bumpy as all get out, but at least it didn't snow, rain, hail, sleet, freeze, or otherwise get delayed. Sometimes, that's all you can ask for.

     The past few weeks have been pretty stressful with graduation looming over me. I try to be one of those people who plan ahead and are prepared for anything, so having an abrupt end to the entire way of life I'm used to is a bit unnerving. This weekend helped that no small bit, just by my gentleman and I being able to find an affordable place to live. It's not our dream place, of course, but since I don't have a job lined up yet (and therefor don't know where I'll have to commute to or what my income/ budget will be), we opted to err on the safe side. Still, it's a nice, open place that is roughly the square footage we were looking for, and in a gorgeous neighborhood with lots of walking/ biking paths, so no complaints!

Russian Fairy Tale

     So this week in the fairy tales class, our assignment is to write a Russian fairy tale of our own. Unfortunately, we were given a pretty strict set of guidelines to follow, and told we'd be marked down from either missing or adding components to it, so there's only so much originality that could be had. Regardless, here's my Russian fairy tale. Pardon the simplicity, and enjoy!

Ivan the Bold

            In a certain time and a certain kingdom, there lived a poor farmer who had three sons. When the time came for the farmer to die, he called together his three sons. To the oldest son, he gave his house. To the middle son, he gave his farmlands. But when his youngest son, Ivan the Bold, stepped forward, the farmer had nothing left to give. “You must go out into the world, my son, and make your own fortune,” he said, then turned his face to the wall and died.

            The older brothers were sorry to see Ivan go, because he was a very hard worker, but Ivan simply said, “Farewell, brothers. I will go out into the world to seek my fortune, and when I have found it, I will return home!” Without further ado, Ivan the Bold walked out into the forest.

FTP 45 - Winning or not

     As we come up to St Pat's Day, the Irish dance community typically goes insane. There is so much to do, between booking shows, shuttling people around, getting routines down, learning new steps, making sure everyone knows what they need to do, etc etc. Not only that, but pretty much immediately after it's over, it's time to start preparing for feisanna (competitions) and class shows, so all semblance of calm goes out the window. Being a pretty snarky person, especially when I feel I've been unjustly snarked at to start with, I always try my hardest to remember this lesson in these days.

     And, of course, any other time of the year when other people are under a lot of stress and mistakenly choose to take it out on the undeserving. Sometimes, it's really just best to shush and walk away. Not always, but sometimes. The trick is knowing when...

Recognition

     The end of February was, in a word, awful. It was one of those times when all the little things go wrong, so there's no one thing to be mad at. Instead you're plagued with incidents like stubbing your toes, dropping papers, spilling food on yourself, inconvenient parking spaces, hitting every single red light possible, not sleeping well, being chronically late despite starting out early, all that sort of thing.

Yeah, one of THOSE times...

     The crowning point, for me, was the homework for my Russian Idioms class. On a rotating schedule, each student has to research that day's topic and give a powerpoint presentation on it. Usually, this consists of about half an hour of translating the appropriate section of the textbook, a bit of research online, and a quick construction of 5-6 slides that highlight the information and finish with a question or two. For some reason, I decided to check out my section earlier than usual, and was utterly baffled to realize that it consisted of a broad and extremely generalized overview of the European and Russian political, social, and philosophical arenas in the early 20th century, all of which culminated in three very expansive idioms. I emailed the prof, asking if he really wanted this entire overview, and he eventually replied with, "Yes, just give background for the idioms, you'll be fine."

FTP 44 - Feedback

Something I still struggle with:

Amazing how no matter how awesome the day was, all it takes is one little negative comment to drag you down. I've gotten to the point where I don't focus on it and obsess over it, but it still just sits in the back of my head and bugs me. 

P.S. Keep this in mind the next time you're tempted to take out a bad mood on someone who doesn't deserve it... you might be that one bad comment that ruins someone's day. Just a thought.

Good days and bad days

Saturday:

• Did laundry (down 2 flights of stairs),
• Washed sheets (also 2 flights of stairs),
• Hand-washed my winter coat,
• Did the dishes,
• Cleaned out the fridge,
• Cleaned out the cabinets,
• Culled old clothes that no longer fit from the closet,
• Put stuff up on eBay,
• Wrote up a study guide for Russian Fairy Tales midterm,
• Watched Russian cartoons to expand vocab and listening comprehension,
• Read a (short) French book,

Slacker post

Won't even try to make it pretty: this weekend was pretty awful, and I did not have time to write anything. Post will be up Wednesday or something. Sorry.

FTP 43 - Try new things

     Many years ago, I worked at a casino in the food court. Being a friendly (if introverted) person, I soon got to know pretty much everyone on all three shifts in all of the restaurants and the production areas. One day, one of the guys who worked in the bakery pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to go to a concert with him. It turned out he was the drummer for a punk band that would be playing in Worcester, MA, and wanted me to go with him. Despite having no real interest in punk music, I figured it would be interesting, and agreed.

     On the day of the show, I drove over to his place, and right away, things got amusing. He'd decided at some point in the past to take out the front seat of his car in order to fit his skateboards (yes, plural) in there, so I rode in the back passenger seat, with loads of legroom. We chatted the whole way up there, and discovered, once we got there, that the people who were supposed to help get things set up hadn't shown. The guy who drove their gear up looked at me and said, "well, any interest in being a roadie for a night?" I laughed, because no not really, but said I'd be happy to help, long as they showed me what to do.

Lol, no. But thanks.

     It didn't get any more serious after that, either. To my surprise, my friend's band was the headliner (which meant they went onstage at like midnight...), so I had a lot of waiting around to do. Being a responsible person, however, I was back at the place about 15 minutes before time, and found out that my friend was the only band member there. Since someone had to be there, he asked me to go hunt down the members of his band... at midnight... in a town I didn't know... for people I'd met all of once. Somehow, I managed to do so, and they all got on stage on time, where I promptly discovered that no, thanks, I am not a fan of punk music. We finally packed everything back into the trailer at 1:30 or so, and my friend and I started back to Connecticut.

     Am I glad I went? Heck yes. I had a very interesting time, and learned a lot. Some of it was what I'm not interested in, but by doing those things, I have narrowed down a lot of possibilities, and it gets easier to find what I do like. Cheers!

Fickle popularity

     When I was in ninth grade, I was part of an after-school program called Dow Explorers (hosted, obviously, by the local Dow Chemicals plant). Once a month or so, a group of us would get together and do simple experiments or projects that tied in to math and science, presumably as a way to see if we were interested in working for said company. I didn't really pay much attention to that side of it, because what we got to do was absolutely fascinating to someone with a sense of exploration. One month we had to bring in water samples from our homes or nearby lakes, and we did various tests to see how much of what additives were in them. Another time we got to learn how the company made Styrofoam and tour the production facility. And one time, we got to make boats...

     One of the nearby towns had a yearly regatta-type thing, being situated on a rather large and fairly calm river. A month or two before it, the people in charge of our program asked us to bring a willing parent/ guardian in, and we split up into teams (kids vs elders) in order to design and build a raft- using only x amount of styrofoam and other materials- that we would then test by participating in the regatta. Naturally, none of us were expected to actually win it, it was more just a "let's give 'em something to do, while showing how invested we are in the community" type thing.

FTP 42 - Know your audience

     I am happy to admit I am quite enraptured with my smartphone. For me, it is a combined street map, day planner, weather forecast, on-the-go translator, stopwatch, timer, clock, phone, text and internet connection, and of course, timewaster. I love silly little games that I can play really quickly while waiting for someone to show up, or for an appointment to start, or just to wind down at night. I do have a few requirements for these games, though; the games 1) cannot be timed or done in a way to make me feel rushed (it's a way to relax for heaven's sake!), 2) must be easily interruptible (they are a time filler, and should be put away when anything important happens), and 3) absolutely must require some amount of logic, intelligence, or problem-solving so that I can, in some small way, justify them as brain-training or self-improvement timewasters.

Business names

     Being as that I have had a load of drama dumped on me recently, I decided to draw for today's post, because I know that if I attempted to write something, it would turn into a rant about the person who is making me angry. With that in mind, here are a couple business name suggestions based on movie quotes. Enjoy!

Sixth Sense:

FTP 41 - Fairness to yourself

     When we're young, we're taught that you should be fair, share what you have with others, and try to be the better person. My parents, in particular, focussed on trying to get us to see the other person's point of view when we got in an argument. While this is, in theory, an admirable goal, there are times when it becomes rather a hindrance in life.

     Now, to start with, it takes a fair bit for me to get angry. Like long-term taking advantage of me, or being horrifically rude and never apologizing, or maliciously damaging my stuff. Outside of active ill-will, however, it's very hard for me to stay angry at someone, because my treacherous mind inevitably starts thinking, "well, look at it from their point of view. Do they have a reason for what they did? Is there logic behind their actions?" And, being the nice person I am, I convince myself that yes, they had a reason to do what they did, and then feel guilty about being angry.

A reused picture appears! It's still effective!

A Way with Words

     When I was 16, I got my first job at the Virginia Renaissance Faire, working in the kitchens. It didn't take me long to figure out that I didn't like food service work (that's a different story), so the next year I worked as a Reveler- ie, unpaid local 'color.' We, the Revelers, were supposed to play the peasantry of the faire. Most of it wasn't bad: we got to interact with the locals, wash clothes in the river (and make as much mess and fuss as we wanted), and had a lot of time that was unsupervised with the injunction to go interact with people. Without a doubt, though, my favorite activity was the Maypole Dance.

     Twice a day, we got to go unwind the ribbons from the Maypole and teach patrons how to do maypole dances. I would occasionally be required to play the music on a recorder, if the musicians were late, but for the most part, I got to dance, weave ribbons, figure out the logistics of weaving and unweaving ribbons and bodies, and encourage people to join in. When it comes to dance, my antisocial tendencies vanish, so I had an absolute ball (pun intended).

FTP 40 - Russian idiom

     In light of the fact that I have an essay due today in my Russian Idioms class, and it is currently the night before and it's not finished, here is a story I have shamelessly lifted from Wikipedia about a Russian idiom, and the story behind it.

The Tale of Cross-Eyed Lefty and the Steel Flea

     Tsar Alexander I of Russia, while visiting England with his servant the Cossack Platov, is shown a variety of modern inventions. Platov keeps insisting that things in Russia are much better until they are shown a small mechanical flea. After his ascension the next tsar, Nicolas I, orders Platov (after he tries to hide the flea) to find someone to outperform the English who had created the clockwork steel flea, which is as small as a crumb, and the key to wind it up can only be seen through a microscope. Platov travels to Tula- a center for the armaments industry- to find someone to better the English invention. Three gunsmiths agree to do the work and barricade themselves in a workshop. Villagers try to get them to come out in various ways (for example by yelling "fire"), but no one can get them to come out. When Platov arrives to check on their progress, he has some Cossacks try to open the workshop. They succeed in getting the roof to come off, but the crowd is disgusted when the trapped smell of body odor and metal work comes out of the workshop. The gunsmiths hand Platov the same flea he gave them and he curses them, believing that they have done absolutely nothing. He ends up dragging Lefty with him in order to have someone to answer for the failure.