When I was younger, I read a book about Merlin and King Arthur that suggested the reason Merlin was so wise is that he lived backwards in time. Therefore, to him, everything was clear as day, because it had, in a sense, already happened.
Now, first of all, to a linguist- even a young, untrained one- this brought about a fascination with the problem of verb tenses he would have to use. If it were true, and his intellect was running backwards through time and into a progressively youth-ing (roll with it) body, then he'd have started off as a doddering old man with no idea how to speak, take care of himself, or reason. Ok, fair enough, that's how a lot of lives end, so makes sense, and he'd be so venerable and respected by then that there probably would have been people to help him.
But think of the problems with language acquisition! No one's going to babble baby-talk or use simple words to someone they believe to be wise beyond everything. If Neil deGrasse Tyson walked up to you, pointed at a dog, and said "What's that," you'd be confused as all heck, think it's a trick question, and answer with as many details and scientific facts as possible! Ok, maybe that's just me, but you see my point?
Skipping past the part of just learning to speak words, let's get to verbs. This is where it helps if you've read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy- you know, the part in the Restaurant at the End of the Universe where Adams goes nuts with the verbs (willen-haven-been)? How do you explain the past to someone who, in effect, hasn't been there yet? "It's something that has already happened, something you remember, something that's past. Remember when x did y? That's in the past." Oh wait, except that Merlin, if he's living backwards (and if he gets so coherent an explanation), hasn't had that thing happen yet. So he'd learn to associate past tense words with predictive "future" (for him) events.
Think about that for a moment. Think about having so many people look up to you, be in awe of your wisdom, venerate you- people you have only just met but claim they know you personally- who are asking you to advise them on the past (for you), based on hints of what will happen in the future. "Merlin! The Saxons are attacking again! What shall we do?" Again? Wait, what happened last time? I mean, next time? What did we/ will we do? Who, indeed, are the Saxons? That must have been confusing as all get out.
But linguistic issues aside (ok, ok, and the fact that Merlin is a myth to begin with aside), there's a deeper problem with living backwards in time. Would one live completely backwards in time, making it necessary to speak "backwards," expand muscles instead of contract them in order to move, and feel the consequences of actions and words before you do or speak them? Or would one live backwards from moment to moment, jumping "ahead" for a bit and living out each "moment" in proper time direction, making life incredibly disjointed and confusing?
These are the things that keep me awake at night. If time truly is a fourth dimension (and that's a whole 'nother topic in itself), then we'll eventually have to figure out how to encompass the idea of living outside time, or backwards in it. And when we do, I'll be there to help. Cheers!
Now, first of all, to a linguist- even a young, untrained one- this brought about a fascination with the problem of verb tenses he would have to use. If it were true, and his intellect was running backwards through time and into a progressively youth-ing (roll with it) body, then he'd have started off as a doddering old man with no idea how to speak, take care of himself, or reason. Ok, fair enough, that's how a lot of lives end, so makes sense, and he'd be so venerable and respected by then that there probably would have been people to help him.
But think of the problems with language acquisition! No one's going to babble baby-talk or use simple words to someone they believe to be wise beyond everything. If Neil deGrasse Tyson walked up to you, pointed at a dog, and said "What's that," you'd be confused as all heck, think it's a trick question, and answer with as many details and scientific facts as possible! Ok, maybe that's just me, but you see my point?
Skipping past the part of just learning to speak words, let's get to verbs. This is where it helps if you've read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy- you know, the part in the Restaurant at the End of the Universe where Adams goes nuts with the verbs (willen-haven-been)? How do you explain the past to someone who, in effect, hasn't been there yet? "It's something that has already happened, something you remember, something that's past. Remember when x did y? That's in the past." Oh wait, except that Merlin, if he's living backwards (and if he gets so coherent an explanation), hasn't had that thing happen yet. So he'd learn to associate past tense words with predictive "future" (for him) events.
Think about that for a moment. Think about having so many people look up to you, be in awe of your wisdom, venerate you- people you have only just met but claim they know you personally- who are asking you to advise them on the past (for you), based on hints of what will happen in the future. "Merlin! The Saxons are attacking again! What shall we do?" Again? Wait, what happened last time? I mean, next time? What did we/ will we do? Who, indeed, are the Saxons? That must have been confusing as all get out.
But linguistic issues aside (ok, ok, and the fact that Merlin is a myth to begin with aside), there's a deeper problem with living backwards in time. Would one live completely backwards in time, making it necessary to speak "backwards," expand muscles instead of contract them in order to move, and feel the consequences of actions and words before you do or speak them? Or would one live backwards from moment to moment, jumping "ahead" for a bit and living out each "moment" in proper time direction, making life incredibly disjointed and confusing?
These are the things that keep me awake at night. If time truly is a fourth dimension (and that's a whole 'nother topic in itself), then we'll eventually have to figure out how to encompass the idea of living outside time, or backwards in it. And when we do, I'll be there to help. Cheers!
No comments:
Post a Comment