Staying busy

     Well, I promised you guys that I'd have a decision by now, and after some thought, I've decided to scale back. I've been working on starting a business this past month, and once it launches this Friday (website here, if you're interested), I'll be able to have an idea of the time commitment necessary to keep it running. Once that happens, I can figure out whether to apply for a full-time or part-time job, or if I need to go looking for employees of my own (wouldn't that be nice!).

     Long and short: I'm feeling a little busy, and want to focus on the new business. I'm not giving up on the blog, because I do enjoy telling stories and drawing things, but I think it'll be on a sporadic, as-things-come-up basis, rather than scheduled weekly posts. Still, this summer marks three years of putting memories, thoughts, concerns, and considerations up here, so I think it went pretty well. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you again, I'm sure. Cheers!

Counting down: 4 days

     This past week has been a frenzy of packing, taking things to the thrift store, taking things to the dump, saying goodbye to people, and preparing for the move that will happen this Friday. My mind isn't doing much better than last Monday, which is not the greatest, because I have my last final exam today at 4pm. I think I know what is needed for it, but the way my brain is(n't) working lately, I'll be lucky to find the right language to work in when I get there.

Though my confusion is from mental exhaustion, not pot.

FTP 50 - One week to go

     In seven days, I will be on the road, with all of my worldly goods in a trailer behind me. The good news is that this week has been a substantial improvement over last week: I finished my Russian paper early, got the trailer situation sorted (mostly), have almost everything packed and sold, and have finally gotten confirmation that yes, we will have an apartment come the 10th.

     Does that stop me from occasionally wanting to run and hide in a corner, overwhelmed at all the changes going on in my life? Heck no. I'm pretty sure that if I live to 100, there will still be a part of me that wants to do that when faced with the unknown. However, I refuse to let that part be the one in charge. So, here's hoping things all work out! I've made all the preparations I can, time to jump and see where I land. Cheers!

Moving prep

     Let the countdown begin! I just realized today that there are only 19 days left until I leave this place for good and start working again, hopefully with something relevant to my degrees. This past weekend was taken up with putting a trailer hitch on my car, and rewiring the back end to add a plug for trailer lights. It took a little bit longer than expected, but I had a huge amount of fun with my (awesome) aunt, uncle, and cousin. The trailer itself didn't show up, so I get to go back up there next weekend and spent more time with them, putting it together. I've been selling stuff on ebay and craigslist, and pretty much everything superfluous to daily life is either sold, boxed up, or waiting to be donated, which makes the place rather bare. No worries though, because I have an 8-page final paper (in Russian!) due in less than two weeks, and I expect that to take up most of my time and attention.

     I won't lie, it's all a little overwhelming, and both my attention span and sleeping patterns have taken a hit because of everything going on. I've got an impressive number of lists going, and if something isn't on my calendar, well, it basically doesn't get done. Not because I don't care about it, but just because I only remember about 6 hours too late to do anything about it. As someone who is usually quite orderly, this is more than a bit disturbing, but I'm trying not to let it get me down. Remember those positive websites I linked back here? They're getting heavily used, trust me.

Spring Break

     Spring break started, for me, this past Thursday. Given the usual irregularity of plane tickets, it turned out that leaving early would save me a couple hundred dollars in airfare, so I sacrificed a day or two of work in order to get the lower prices. The flight was bumpy as all get out, but at least it didn't snow, rain, hail, sleet, freeze, or otherwise get delayed. Sometimes, that's all you can ask for.

     The past few weeks have been pretty stressful with graduation looming over me. I try to be one of those people who plan ahead and are prepared for anything, so having an abrupt end to the entire way of life I'm used to is a bit unnerving. This weekend helped that no small bit, just by my gentleman and I being able to find an affordable place to live. It's not our dream place, of course, but since I don't have a job lined up yet (and therefor don't know where I'll have to commute to or what my income/ budget will be), we opted to err on the safe side. Still, it's a nice, open place that is roughly the square footage we were looking for, and in a gorgeous neighborhood with lots of walking/ biking paths, so no complaints!

Thank you, brain

     I was putzing around the house this week, getting chores done, cleaning up, and generally minding my own business, when this happened:

For some reason, even though I do my best to keep a general schedule in mind to ensure I don't miss preparations for major events, my brain has a tendency to suddenly realize the immanency of random things. It doesn't even have to be something big- I'll occasionally have a moment where my brain forgets what day it is, and I'll be dead convinced that I'm late for work or class or something... only to realize that no, that's tomorrow, calm down and keep doing whatever it was I was doing.

Winter break

     Huzzah! Finals are done, grades are coming in (all As so far), and I'm about to set off on winter break with family and friends on the east coast. In light of the next few weeks being a vacation, I've decided to put updates on hold until I get back, so that I can focus on relaxing and relationships instead of making sure updates get posted in time. So here's a quick post for the holidays, and I'll see you all when I get back, on January 14th!

     One of the things I've been working on this semester is self-acceptance. I have never been one to follow the crowd, but lately I've been doubting whether what I'm doing is the "right" thing to do. I'm in my thirties, in college, broke as heck, and facing the absolute unknown of graduation and entry into an extremely sluggish job market and economy. If you'd asked me 10 years ago- heck, even 5 years ago- where I'd be at this time in life, this would not be it.

FTP 19 - Waiting

     This will be the last FTP post for a while- actually, it will be the last regularly scheduled post at all for a the next two months. In case you didn't know, I left this morning for a seven week trip to see family and friends on the east coast, four weeks of which will be spent in Russia, studying the language and culture at the St. Petersburg University. I have no idea what the internet connection will be like, but when I can, I'll be posting updates about how that trip is going. With that in mind, here is the FTP for the week:

     For the last eight weeks, since finals were done, I have been sitting on my rear end, watching time go by. I had work (part-time, three days a week), and dance class (tuesday and thursday nights) to keep me occupied, but that left a huge chunk of my time completely unoccupied. While I did manage to keep from becoming a total layabout and gaming 16 hours a day, I didn't really feel like I accomplished terribly much, mostly because I didn't. My time was spent preparing for the next year or so of my life which, while necessary, isn't exactly exciting or fulfilling.

     But, starting today, my life is finally getting back on track. I have a fantastic opportunity to study Russian in situ, as it were, and hopefully get fed and not have a creepy roommate this time. Upon returning from this trip, I'll have one week before classes start (which should be fun, since I need to change some classes I'm signed up for, and you can't do that until that week prior!), and then try to find a way to keep my nose to the grindstone and soak up as much Russian as I can, while applying for jobs wherever possible. The goal is to have a job in place by the time I graduate, but we shall see.

     Throughout all this, I want to keep practicing Irish dance which has brought me so much fun and progress in life during the last four years. I also want to keep up on drawing (which I'm not good at) and writing (which I think I am), find a way to maintain proficiency in French (my second language), and continue to build a relationship with Angel (my man out in Maryland). I would love to find a way to add a third language in there, but I suspect that might be overdoing it a touch. So... busy things to look forward to in the next year!

     When you think about it though, that's what life is all about. It can't always be fun and games and getting things done, sometimes you have to slog through those boring times that just seem like planning and planning and planning. Yes, it feels like you're not getting anywhere. Yes, it's boring as sin, and quite thoroughly frustrating as you try to cover all those details. But once everything's in place, and you know things are covered (and that you can handle any emergencies that come up- because you can!), all you have to do is spread your wings and fly...

Come on, let's go. 

T minus 3 weeks

     This past Friday marked the three week point until I leave for the trip to the East coast and Russia, and it's slowly starting to hit me what exactly that means. As much as I complain that I'm bored, and I'm not working on my life goals right now, the last few weeks have been extremely restful, and have allowed me to focus on some things I've been ignoring, such as my attitude towards speaking Russian and my health goals. In just eighteen days, however, I will have much larger things to think about!

     Back in January, a friend from WoW got me started on a website to help lose weight and stay active. Between 2008 and 2010, I had gone from just over 200 lbs to 180 lbs, simply by cutting out sugar and snacks while I was gaming, but then I kinda got stuck at that weight. Irish dance was keeping me fairly fit, but I wasn't really paying that much attention to how much of certain things I was eating, and the fact that I wasn't really doing anything outside of Irish dance. When I started on this website though (www.myfitnesspal.com if you're interested), I got quite the wakeup call as to how much I was eating, and why I wasn't losing weight. In the last six months, I've lost a further ten pounds, and feel so much better, even to the point of not being out of breath at the end of some of our dances.

The countdown begins

     This past Friday marked the six week point until I leave on vacation/ the trip to Russia. In general terms this is not particularly important, but for me, six weeks is the point at which things become real. And unfortunately, the current situation means that things also become worrisome.

Yeah, that's about how I feel.

     Everyone has some sort of calendar in their heads, used to keep track of what's going on and when. Some people are better at this than others, though the prevalence of technology has made this less important than in the past. My calendar is broken down into, roughly, a weekly basis: this week and next week, "soon" (i.e., within the next six weeks or so), and "eventually" (more than six weeks out). If something definitely will happen that is in the "eventually" section, I put it on my calendar with an alert, because I know I will forget about it before it happens.

FTP 11 - Future vs now

     Have you ever been driving along, thinking about something else entirely, and suddenly realized what a beautiful day it is? How on earth did you drive that far without noticing that? You were probably only paying nominal attention to what was going on around you, because you were busy thinking about what needed done when you got to where you were going, or making a list of things you need to do this weekend, or planning ahead for some event that's coming up. Which is totally understandable- we all do that, and you have to plan for the future, right?

     Well, yes and no. While it's great to be prepared in life, it's also really easy to let 'right now' slip away while you're busy thinking about the future. Sure, driving is boring and repetitive, but I've seen people let the weekend, vacations, even whole years pass them by without a single moment of relaxation or appreciation, because they're too focused on what's next. So take a moment to step back every now and then, and look at what is, not just what will be. Live your own life, not your future self's life. Cheers!

Making plans

     One of the things that I have seen crop up again and again in life is a correlation between how excited I get about something new and the success or failure of achieving it. When I get super excited about, say, a new job or opportunity, I will talk it up to everyone I know, live every moment of the day with this new thing in mind, and inevitably be crushed when it doesn't come true or doesn't live up to my inflated dreams. On the other hand, if I simply acknowledge the possibility of said new potential and continue living my life as if it is simply a part of of me already, it inevitably comes true and rarely disappoints. But why the difference? Why, given things like The Secret or Oprah telling us that positive thinking makes good things happen, would the level of enthusiasm around something cause it to crash?

Problem is, the shadows are still there...

Off to a meh start

     Discovery: I'm not fond of writing first thing in the morning. Due to my crazy schedule, and my tendency to put things off to the last day but not the last minute, I realized that I will be writing today's post on Thursday mornings, rather than at night as per usual. Unfortunately, a number of things that have happened lately have really driven it home that I'm kind of a night person. Mornings usually take me a little bit to get going, and I don't tend to have strong opinions until I run into something that requires them.

      Which is not to say that I haven't had opinions this week, not at all. The first day of school, as per usual, was horrible weather: 14 degrees (plus whatever the windchill was) compared to the 50 it had been the week before, and is again today. Russian class was slightly intimidating, but all the extra work I'd done over break translating news articles and such really paid off. Dance class was fun, especially as I'd gotten new "dance sneakers," so my feet didn't hurt. All-in-all, it was a pretty decent day, with only one exception.

Blank slate

     Usually, when I sit down to write a post, I have something in mind. Either a recent event that I'd like to share for the laughs, or something I feel very strongly about for better or for worse. Despite the injunction to "make me laugh" from a friend for today's post, I find myself remarkably empty of ideas or opinions today. So instead, here's the chaos that will be my upcoming semester:

Coincidence or foresight?

     This story takes place during Thanksgiving week. I was out shopping with my mom, and she needed to grab some spice for the turkey, so we pulled in to a Whole Foods somewhere in Maryland (I wasn't really paying attention to the particulars, so that's as close as you get to an accurate description). Now, the Whole Foods stores in Colorado are, for some reason, relatively small- certainly no larger than your average grocery store, and in some cases, about the size of those tiny ethnic food stores. The one in Maryland that we went to, on the other hand, you could easily clear the aisles and hold car races inside. Short ones, but still car races. The parking lot is underneath the store, and once you climb the stairs (or ride the escalator, but that seems counter-productive to me), there's a Mecca of healthy food and organic stuff laid out before you.

     The one down side to this is that if you don't know where what you're looking for is, good luck finding it. We were after juniper berries, and while it's possible that they would be in the spices aisle, we didn't see anything that clearly looked like or said "spices." I did, however, see an employee helping someone else at the end of

Papers and finals.

     It's that time of year again, when students everywhere are catapulted out of the happy complacency of knowing their daily routine, into the stark cruel reality of facing down exams and final papers. Coming back from a delightful week off, after 14 weeks of the same thing, we all realize that there are only two weeks until finals. And unfortunately, by the time you realize that, one of those weeks is gone.
 
     As someone very wise once said to me, however, college is not so much about learning things, but rather about learning how you learn things. And I know that the best way for me to get something done is to let it ferment in the back of my head. So while it may not seem like I've been doing much this week to prepare for finals, I've actually been archiving, cross-referencing, making connections, and hoarding away everything I could for the upcoming ordeal. Once the weekend hit, that's when it was time to get everything down on paper.

     So the last two days have primarily been spent trying to force three-dimensional thought patterns onto two-dimensional paper, a process I've discussed and ranted about many times before. What's more, this particular

In case of confusion...

     A friend and I were talking about being overworked recently, and a certain correlation was pointed out between being overworked and being a zombie- noticeably a lack of upper brain functions, aversion to daylight, semi-somnolent ambulatory skills, etc, etc. So if you're starting to be a little confused as to whether you are an overworked stiff or a zombie, here's a convenient flowchart for you to follow.

Final countdown

This is the (backside of the) Summer Palace! Apparently, most of it was as gilded as the towers in the background at one point, but one of the queens got annoyed at the constant glittering, and asked that it be toned down, so now it's just accents and a few cupolas that are quite so gaudy. From what we were told, there are more than 800 rooms in the main palace (the multi-story area in the back), and goodness knows how many in the servants' quarters (one-story area in the foreground). We were going to go inside, but a number of cruise ships had docked and unloaded just as we got there, and the line was upward of two hours to get in, so we passed over it and just wandered the gardens. Fine with me!

   This is an example of the "english gardens" in front of the palace itself. Perhaps it's just my long association with the book/ play The Secret Garden, but I associate english gardens with fountains of roses, not laid-out gravel. Meh. Regardless, it was pretty impressive, though apparently one of the many strays about the place thought the black circle at the bottom needed some spreading out. I can't imagine how much work it takes to keep all this looking this orderly, but I suppose after 300 years, you've probably gotten most of the weeds cleared out. :)

  I have no idea what these flowers are, they were all over the Italian gardens, in a huge bush-type plant (think lilac bush size), and they smelled heavenly. If anyone can identify them, I would happily grow about 6 billion of them, just to sit in the middle and back in the scent. The rest of the Italian gardens were also wonderful, well-laid-out, with statuary and vine-covered arches. We missed the lilacs, poppies and irises, but the begonias and petunias were just coming out, so it was still quite lovely.

Revisit after some sleep

Having gotten some sleep and a little bit more food than a candy bar (the ubiquitous ham and cheese sandwich...), I'd like to give a slightly more upbeat update. Well, the ending is more upbeat at least. :) Imagine the following being told in true Lyssa fashion, complete with gestures and facial expressions, it'll be so much more entertaining.

   Class yesterday was certainly trying, but at least the teachers had been notified as to our circumstances (and I'm sure the fact that even Artemi was sick and exhausted helped!), so they accepted that we were falling asleep in class and stumbling over english, much less russian. Grammar class was a brief lesson, then word games- she gave us long words in russian and we had to find words within them. I think the longest word found (out of a 20-letter word, mind you!) was 6 letters, so we're not going to be invited to russian mensa (if it exists) anytime soon, but it was quite fun and hilarious as some people couldn't count how many of each letter were in a word, and sometimes just added letters that weren't there at all!

Countdown!

Three days til I leave and the jitters are starting to set in. I've got my passport and visa, my books should be arriving tomorrow, my packing list and flight itineraries are all printed out, nothing to do now but sit and wait. I hate waiting.

To pass the time, I've been playing around with a trial account on a French server in WoW. It's pretty mind-expanding, to the point where I couldn't sleep the first night because all the new vocab was running through my head, but I feel it's worth it. I'm debating letting my US account lapse when I get back and just poking around on French and Russian servers to improve those languages. We'll see.

So yeah, three days. Nothing to do but wait. And I'm sure that on the third day, I'll discover something vital that I (or someone else!) forgot to do, and have to run around like crazy. Good times.