Luck and Hard Work

      "Oh, they just got lucky, they didn't earn that."

      "That person put a lot of hard work in, they deserve it!"

Personal two cents, the truth is often somewhere in between. 

Lost claddagh

     I lost my claddagh ring this past week, and it's having far more of an impact on my life than I thought it would. Despite the fact that it was bought for me by my ex-husband as a wedding ring, I kept it when we broke up, and simply moved it to the appropriate hand and position for being single. Partially, this was because what he paid for it was a small fraction of what he had borrowed from me in the brief time we were together, but mostly because...

     I am pretty serious about my financial independence. I try not to obsess about money, but staying out of debt (other than student loans) is very important to me, and I do my best to split things evenly, even though my gentleman makes literally twice what I do right now. I do not want to take advantage of other people, financially, the way other people have taken advantage of me, in the past. I don't like accepting expensive gifts, and I certainly don't like asking for things.

     But.... despite its origin, despite the annoyance of the design getting caught on everything, despite everything... that claddagh was the first expensive, high-quality piece of jewelry that someone else thought I was worth the price. I didn't have to ask for it, he wouldn't let me get a cheaper one (although it was still plain, by my preference); he insisted that I get the ring I wanted, regardless of the price. It was the most expensive thing I'd gotten something without worrying about the cost, and without worrying that someone was doing it for any other reason than that they could afford to do something that would make me happy. Even if that person turned out to be not so nice in the end, that feeling lived on in the ring.

     Maybe it's silly to think so, since I'm Scots, and not Irish anyway. Maybe it's foolish to be attached to a thing, instead of eschewing materialism. I've tried telling myself a hundred times this week that I don't wear jewelry anyway, reminding myself of all the times it got caught on things,  how annoying it could be, being loose in the winter and tight in the summer... but I still miss it. It meant a lot to me. And I don't think I can replace that.

A shift in ones point of view

     I recently interviewed for, and was accepted to, a new job,

Although

     I won't be starting until the new year (giving two weeks' notice),

This means that

     I know I will have solid income again soon,

Therefore

     I don't have to stress about money,

So

     I am able to appreciate what I do have right now,

As a result

     I can deal with the troubles I have to put up with for two more weeks.


     Funny how one little thing can change so much. Being stuck in a loop wears you down so slowly that you don't even realize it. Knowing that the loop is about to end, even if it hasn't happened yet, makes everything so much better. So here's to aiming for new things: it make take a while, but it'll be worth it in the end. 

Priorities

     I am often amazed at what other people think is important. It doesn't bother me that our views (obviously) conflict rather frequently- some people pay attention to news, fashion, computer gadgets, celebrities, etc, and as long as they are happy with their lives and do their best to be decent people, then whatever. But now and then, something smacks me upside the head at how drastically different people's priorities can be.

     When I was in high school, the parking lot was pretty much chock full of crappy, old, used cars. You knew who the rich people were because they would have a shiny new car, with a good paint job, new tires, maybe even the sticker still in the window if they were real vain show-offs. For the most part, though, kids got either what they could afford, or that old junker car that the parents didn't want anymore, so it got passed down to the new driver while the adults got a shiny new toy. Rust, dented bumpers, and the occasional car that qualified as a classic, though in need of repair, were common. Sometimes you even got the pleasure of learning how to team up and push-start a car, or help push a friend's jalopy around to the nearest gas station if the fuel meter didn't work right.

My first car was this, but in an institution-puke-green color.

Business is open!

     Hey all, hopefully this will be settling down here now that the business is officially open. If you haven't seen it, the website is here, and the store itself is on Etsy. Stop by and see what's been sucking my time away!

     In other news (yes, there is other news even with a new business),  I've decided to start my own dance group out here, as the ones I'd found aren't quite as demanding or graceful as I'd hoped. I made a deal with my old teacher out in Colorado, and we're going to try a distance learning thing via Skype/ video recordings. I've also switched to a Russian server in WoW in order to keep in practice, and boy does that help! It takes me about six times as long to do quests than it does in the English version, but my vocab and even grammar is getting one heck of a boost!

Quest log: I'm sorry, you want me to do WHAT now?

     In light of these and other changes, I've also decided to drop the online Masters classes I'd signed up for, until I know what my income levels will be. I'm debating a couple alternatives to keep me busy, such as kickboxing through the gym where I'll be dancing, and any number of language classes at the local community college, but that decision has to wait til I see how the business will do. If it takes off, then great! If it is a gradual takeoff, then I'll go sign up with a temp agency to keep me busy (and paid) until it's a means of support.

     So while things aren't super settled in yet, I have a couple plans, and feel like I'm on the right track. Thanks for your patience, and I'll be putting things up here occasionally, as life gets less hectic (ha!). Cheers!

Winter break

     Huzzah! Finals are done, grades are coming in (all As so far), and I'm about to set off on winter break with family and friends on the east coast. In light of the next few weeks being a vacation, I've decided to put updates on hold until I get back, so that I can focus on relaxing and relationships instead of making sure updates get posted in time. So here's a quick post for the holidays, and I'll see you all when I get back, on January 14th!

     One of the things I've been working on this semester is self-acceptance. I have never been one to follow the crowd, but lately I've been doubting whether what I'm doing is the "right" thing to do. I'm in my thirties, in college, broke as heck, and facing the absolute unknown of graduation and entry into an extremely sluggish job market and economy. If you'd asked me 10 years ago- heck, even 5 years ago- where I'd be at this time in life, this would not be it.

Loyalty vs selfishness

     One of the things I am really bad at in life is deciding when to call things quits. As I've noted before, I will give people second, third, fourth, and even 108th chances sometimes. The first guy I ever dated was with me for eight years; every year I'd re-evaluate how things were going and convince myself that while things weren't great, they were at least improving, and someday (that mysterious someday), it would all work out. What finally ended that relationship, even after he cheated on me multiple times and almost drove me to bankruptcy when I was 20, was him declaring his love for my sister (who wanted nothing to do with all this), suggesting the three of us live together forever, and then accusing me of not being supportive of him and his desires.

Surfing and skydiving

     Oh, look, another blank page. Having spent the last week staring at an unfinished, 10-page literature paper that is due tomorrow, I hope you'll forgive me for being slightly unenthused about looking up to see another unfilled document. Fortuitously, however, this one requires neither citations, nor research, nor reading yet another dry, morbid, depressed critique on yet another societal injustice. Instead, let us consider surfing and skydiving. Random, I know, but roll with it for a moment...

     Back in 2008, my life was pretty decent. I had a solid (I thought) job, that I didn't utterly hate and allowed me to put money in the bank to save for those rainy days that came sooner than planned. I had no real ties or commitments to anything, no real debts, and few hassles. As such, I felt that there was no better time than the present to try out a few things that had been on my unwritten bucket list. During the summer, I tried out surfing at a camp in California. While I made a very good friend there, I was still pasty white girl, and the very first day saw me with severe enough sunburn that I was limping the entire week, and decided that surfing was not for me.

This, but all over. 

I got a bike! (Part 2)

So I'd discovered this past month that parking near campus and walking could make for a very lengthy walk indeed, and this was without students moving back into said residential neighborhood, and the possibility of 2-6" of snow on the ground. Time to revise the plan a bit.

Being as that my college is in one of the most bike- and pedestrian-friendly cities in the US (or so I believe), I decided it was time to get a bike. Since new bikes these days start- for a cheap bike at a general store- at about $120, I decided to take my search to my old friend, Cragislist. If you don't use Craigslist, I highly, highly recommend it. Within a week, I had found a mountain bike (for snowy days on campus) for just $40. It wasn't particularly fancy, but it had the basics that I needed: two wheels, two pedals, steering and brake mechanisms and gears for going up and down hills. That's good enough for me.

Working and descriptions

True to form, I have been too productive, and my temp job is over early. The deadline for completing everything was the end of the month, and I got it done with a week and a half to spare. Now, to some people, this is silly. They would argue that I have shot myself in the foot- after all, I could have moved more slowly, taken my time, and made bank for another week and a half. To me, though, this attitude is ridiculous. I was stuck in a windowless office, pulling staples out of papers and feeding them into a scanner for 8 hours a day, and when I ran out of papers, I got to pull more boxes of papers out of the warehouse, and sort them by year, vendor, and then date. Why would I want to prolong this? For money? I'll take my happiness, thank you.

So here I am now, out of a job 10 days early. I'm not terribly worried about this though, for two reasons. One is that, due to living off student loans, I have become very frugal, and have made enough in the 5 weeks that I did work to support myself for the entire summer. Not extravagantly, mind you, but enough to pay all my bills

Things I have learned today:

1. If you want me to go insane, put me in a menial office job with no mental stimulation or sunlight. I'll last 3 days then start losing it.
   
2. I am mildly dyslexic with numbers, and this comes out more strongly when I'm going insane.
   
3. Just because I'm good or efficient at something, doesn't mean I want to do it. Usually, I get efficient at it so it can be over with faster.
   
4. If you want something done prettily, don't ask me to do it. I'll do it the fastest way to get the most effective job done, but it won't be pretty. You want pretty, you pay me a lot more, give me sunlight, and let me move around a lot. Machine conditions result in machine work, and that includes using scissors