FTP 56 - Learning

And yet society has taught us, these days, that we should fear failure. There is a difference between striving for success, and being so wary of someone else finding out that we fail- an integral part of reaching successfulness- that you don't even try. 

Buck society, try new things, fall on your face, pick yourself up, and keep going. There is more shame in stagnation and backwardness (in my opinion) than in trying and failing until you make it happen. Cheers!

FTP 55 - Weird

     Remember Disney's version of Alice in Wonderland? While it wasn't quite faithful to the book (what movie ever is?), I remember being amazed at how many little details of weirdness they put in it, and wondering why Alice didn't want to stop and check them all out.

But realistically, when life gets weird, sometimes all you can do is keep going, try to keep your head above water, and hope that you reach the end before your ability to deal with it all runs out. Accept that life is bizarre, shake your head that it's happening to you, and keep going. Eventually, things will return to normal, and you'll have some fantastic stories to tell. 

FTP 54 - Sometimes

     Sometimes, all you can do is sit down, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that none of the drastic ideas in your head are good: the best thing you can do is be patient, and keep at it. It's not always easy, but it's always true.

Well, unless you're James Bond. Then drastic measures are probably good. Shy of that though, go with the deep breath. 

FTP 53 - Connections

     A couple years ago, I was randomly browsing the internet and came across this picture:

It really made me smile, and I kept it around, pulling it out every now and then when I really needed a smile. I think it's the concept that, no matter who you are, you can make someone's day by taking a moment and letting them learn, explore, try something new, or expand their horizons. And even if it's something that you deal with every day, and it has become blasé to you, you can still be happy, watching them delight in whatever it is.

     Things like this are what keep us all human, and let us connect to each other. The two people in the picture are pretty radically different, but they shared this moment, and it continues to touch others. Keep that in mind the next time someone is eyeing you, or you see someone with whom you think you couldn't possibly have anything in common- you may just be surprised. 

FTP 52 - Attitudes on the road

     One of the (many) things that I wanted to keep a close eye on when I moved from the midwest to the east coast was my attitude while driving. Having learned to drive in the DC area, it was quite a shock to go out to Colorado and have people actually be nice and move aside to let me pass if they were going slowly. I took complete advantage of it for about a month, and then started thinking about how maybe- just maybe- if they were able to do it, maybe so could I. Slowly but surely, I became a calmer driver, slowed down (a bit), and realized that, if I drove better, I would arrive at my destination maybe a minute or two later, and in a lot better mood. Moving out here, I'm fighting to hang on to that and not revert to the "I'm important so to heck with you" attitude.

     One thing I noticed, however, is that a lot of the east coast attitude seems to hinge upon the desire to judge and improve those around you, rather than yourself. I could be wrong in this, but the message that I see when someone cuts in front of someone else and hits the breaks (if the road is otherwise clear) is that "you're driving slowly and holding people up, so I'm going to show you what it feels like." Or perhaps, "you pissed me off, so I'm going to piss you off." Not because it will actually improve anything- because let's face it, all that attitude is likely to do is continue a cycle of anger and aggression- but because of the first driver's desire to make the offending driver aware of a) first driver's existence, and b) first driver's presumed superiority.

     Along the lines of "wouldn't it be nice if we all just got along," I'd like to add my take on it: "wouldn't it be nice if we could all just concern ourselves first with improving ourselves, and only secondarily with judging and critiquing others." Wouldn't it?

FTP 51 - Home

     Finally getting things together, but even when it's not finished, a home means a lot to the people living in it. What stories are you making, wherever you are now?

FTP 50 - One week to go

     In seven days, I will be on the road, with all of my worldly goods in a trailer behind me. The good news is that this week has been a substantial improvement over last week: I finished my Russian paper early, got the trailer situation sorted (mostly), have almost everything packed and sold, and have finally gotten confirmation that yes, we will have an apartment come the 10th.

     Does that stop me from occasionally wanting to run and hide in a corner, overwhelmed at all the changes going on in my life? Heck no. I'm pretty sure that if I live to 100, there will still be a part of me that wants to do that when faced with the unknown. However, I refuse to let that part be the one in charge. So, here's hoping things all work out! I've made all the preparations I can, time to jump and see where I land. Cheers!

FTP 49 - Don't give up yet

    This has been an absolutely horrendous week. Everything has gone wrong, from food being spoiled to kicking myself with a hardshoe, from the trailer I ordered being lost by the shipper to having my computer mysteriously eat three hours worth of work on my final paper... Almost every single area of my life has had something go seriously wrong with it in the last seven days.

     And then, out of nowhere, my aunt and uncle- who have been like parents to me out here- call me up and tell me that a relative is selling their trailer, nearly the exact same one I ordered but with a floor and sides already built, would I be interested in buying it? Heck yes I would. A little later, I finally suck it up and get back to work on my annihilated final paper, only to find out that I'm typing better and more easily than I thought I would, and having to look up fewer words. My gentleman called and said he got a job lead from his chiropractor, and gave me his email address to get in touch.

     No, it doesn't change the fact that this past week has been absolutely horrible. But... things do get better. And if you choose to look at it from a different point of view, there are also a lot of things that could have gone wrong, but didn't. The old cliché that it's always darkest before the dawn isn't factually true (I stayed up one night to check), but it's a good adage to live by. 

FTP 48 - Worn down

     Ran across this the other day on the internet, and it's sad how true it is, and how often it happens, not just on the internet.

Credit, I think.

Don't let the naysayers and jerks get you down. If you have an idea, do what you can to make it work. If you give it your best, and it doesn't quite fly, well, at least you tried. It's better than becoming another naysayer and shutting down someone else's creativity, and the more you work to make things happen, the more likely it is that at least one of them will!

FTP 47 - Criticizing yourself

     This one took me a while to figure out, but once I did, the change was amazing. Go on, give it a try.

FTP 46 - Negative news

     A friend texted me this week feeling very upset and angry at the world. After some conversation, it turned out that she'd been reading the news, and found an extremely disturbing new article on a topic she was very passionate about. I've occasionally noticed that I, too, get caught up in the media when issues close to my heart are at stake, and will click around multiple news websites to get every bit of information I can on what's going on. Unfortunately, all this really does is keep exposing us to the things that upset us, and we enter a nasty little downward spiral of finding things to feed that indignant feeling.

     Being a good friend, however, I did for her what I try to do for myself when this happens: google "good news," or "feel good news," and read and watch videos until you get a smile back on your face. (Some of my favorite sites are linked at the bottom, if you have a hankering for something to make your day brighter). Before you go saying that it's just a method of burying your head in the sand and ignoring the horrible things going on, however, I'd like to point out that horrible things are going on every second, every day... but so are good things. Why should we focus only on the negative?

     Another argument in favor of watching happy news is simply logic. I figured out a while ago that there are only so many things I can deal with in a day. If I burden myself with things that I truly, honestly have absolutely no way to influence, then all it's doing is making me feel bad. But if I focus on a few things that I can affect positively, and then fill the rest of my time with things that positively affect me, then a) I feel better, b) I have better energy to put into the things I can do something about, and c) people around me pick up on the fact that hey, life isn't all that bad. And then they in turn can perk up and pass that on to others. Not a bad way to live, really.

Good sites:
Feel Good News
Huffington Post's collection of positive stories.
Pictures, videos, and news articles from around the world.
The aptly named Optimist World.
And of course, no list is complete without Lolcats.

Enjoy!

FTP 45 - Winning or not

     As we come up to St Pat's Day, the Irish dance community typically goes insane. There is so much to do, between booking shows, shuttling people around, getting routines down, learning new steps, making sure everyone knows what they need to do, etc etc. Not only that, but pretty much immediately after it's over, it's time to start preparing for feisanna (competitions) and class shows, so all semblance of calm goes out the window. Being a pretty snarky person, especially when I feel I've been unjustly snarked at to start with, I always try my hardest to remember this lesson in these days.

     And, of course, any other time of the year when other people are under a lot of stress and mistakenly choose to take it out on the undeserving. Sometimes, it's really just best to shush and walk away. Not always, but sometimes. The trick is knowing when...

FTP 44 - Feedback

Something I still struggle with:

Amazing how no matter how awesome the day was, all it takes is one little negative comment to drag you down. I've gotten to the point where I don't focus on it and obsess over it, but it still just sits in the back of my head and bugs me. 

P.S. Keep this in mind the next time you're tempted to take out a bad mood on someone who doesn't deserve it... you might be that one bad comment that ruins someone's day. Just a thought.

FTP 43 - Try new things

     Many years ago, I worked at a casino in the food court. Being a friendly (if introverted) person, I soon got to know pretty much everyone on all three shifts in all of the restaurants and the production areas. One day, one of the guys who worked in the bakery pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to go to a concert with him. It turned out he was the drummer for a punk band that would be playing in Worcester, MA, and wanted me to go with him. Despite having no real interest in punk music, I figured it would be interesting, and agreed.

     On the day of the show, I drove over to his place, and right away, things got amusing. He'd decided at some point in the past to take out the front seat of his car in order to fit his skateboards (yes, plural) in there, so I rode in the back passenger seat, with loads of legroom. We chatted the whole way up there, and discovered, once we got there, that the people who were supposed to help get things set up hadn't shown. The guy who drove their gear up looked at me and said, "well, any interest in being a roadie for a night?" I laughed, because no not really, but said I'd be happy to help, long as they showed me what to do.

Lol, no. But thanks.

     It didn't get any more serious after that, either. To my surprise, my friend's band was the headliner (which meant they went onstage at like midnight...), so I had a lot of waiting around to do. Being a responsible person, however, I was back at the place about 15 minutes before time, and found out that my friend was the only band member there. Since someone had to be there, he asked me to go hunt down the members of his band... at midnight... in a town I didn't know... for people I'd met all of once. Somehow, I managed to do so, and they all got on stage on time, where I promptly discovered that no, thanks, I am not a fan of punk music. We finally packed everything back into the trailer at 1:30 or so, and my friend and I started back to Connecticut.

     Am I glad I went? Heck yes. I had a very interesting time, and learned a lot. Some of it was what I'm not interested in, but by doing those things, I have narrowed down a lot of possibilities, and it gets easier to find what I do like. Cheers!

FTP 42 - Know your audience

     I am happy to admit I am quite enraptured with my smartphone. For me, it is a combined street map, day planner, weather forecast, on-the-go translator, stopwatch, timer, clock, phone, text and internet connection, and of course, timewaster. I love silly little games that I can play really quickly while waiting for someone to show up, or for an appointment to start, or just to wind down at night. I do have a few requirements for these games, though; the games 1) cannot be timed or done in a way to make me feel rushed (it's a way to relax for heaven's sake!), 2) must be easily interruptible (they are a time filler, and should be put away when anything important happens), and 3) absolutely must require some amount of logic, intelligence, or problem-solving so that I can, in some small way, justify them as brain-training or self-improvement timewasters.

FTP 41 - Fairness to yourself

     When we're young, we're taught that you should be fair, share what you have with others, and try to be the better person. My parents, in particular, focussed on trying to get us to see the other person's point of view when we got in an argument. While this is, in theory, an admirable goal, there are times when it becomes rather a hindrance in life.

     Now, to start with, it takes a fair bit for me to get angry. Like long-term taking advantage of me, or being horrifically rude and never apologizing, or maliciously damaging my stuff. Outside of active ill-will, however, it's very hard for me to stay angry at someone, because my treacherous mind inevitably starts thinking, "well, look at it from their point of view. Do they have a reason for what they did? Is there logic behind their actions?" And, being the nice person I am, I convince myself that yes, they had a reason to do what they did, and then feel guilty about being angry.

A reused picture appears! It's still effective!

FTP 40 - Russian idiom

     In light of the fact that I have an essay due today in my Russian Idioms class, and it is currently the night before and it's not finished, here is a story I have shamelessly lifted from Wikipedia about a Russian idiom, and the story behind it.

The Tale of Cross-Eyed Lefty and the Steel Flea

     Tsar Alexander I of Russia, while visiting England with his servant the Cossack Platov, is shown a variety of modern inventions. Platov keeps insisting that things in Russia are much better until they are shown a small mechanical flea. After his ascension the next tsar, Nicolas I, orders Platov (after he tries to hide the flea) to find someone to outperform the English who had created the clockwork steel flea, which is as small as a crumb, and the key to wind it up can only be seen through a microscope. Platov travels to Tula- a center for the armaments industry- to find someone to better the English invention. Three gunsmiths agree to do the work and barricade themselves in a workshop. Villagers try to get them to come out in various ways (for example by yelling "fire"), but no one can get them to come out. When Platov arrives to check on their progress, he has some Cossacks try to open the workshop. They succeed in getting the roof to come off, but the crowd is disgusted when the trapped smell of body odor and metal work comes out of the workshop. The gunsmiths hand Platov the same flea he gave them and he curses them, believing that they have done absolutely nothing. He ends up dragging Lefty with him in order to have someone to answer for the failure.

FTP 39 - Road rage

     On my way to my internship this week (clear on the other side of Denver), I suddenly noticed that the car that had been following me a comfortable distance back had mysteriously been replaced my the grill of an SUV that was probably centimeters from my back bumper. Traffic was pretty decent, and we were all doing about 5 mph over the speed limit (because who puts a 55 mph limit on an open, 3-lane highway?), so I wasn't really sure why I was being gestured and shouted at as if I were a snail on the Autobahn.

     Since there was a car about 5 feet ahead of me in the middle lane, I didn't really want to slide over to get out of crazy lady's way, just to have to slam on the breaks when I got there. Instead, I figured I'd keep going til there was a clearing, and then get out of her way. Mind you, I have a bit of a wide following distance, but I was keeping pace with the car in front of me, so it's not like I was holding things up.

FTP 38 - Chasing dreams

Since I was young, I knew I wanted to work with languages.

When I was let go from my job five years ago and decided to go back to school, I knew it was the first step to making those dreams come true.

When I sat in my first language class and realized how much I had to learn, I knew it wouldn't be easy, but hoped it would be worth it.

When it hit me that I only had one semester left before I would have to go out and prove myself, I won't lie, I panicked a little.

FTP 37 - False motivation?

     Is a lie still a lie if the telling of it makes it true?

Now, I'm not talking about lying to get around things or get out of trouble, I'm talking about those little white lies that you tell people to motivate them to improve themselves. If someone is really struggling with a concept/ move/ routine/ whatever, and you say things such as, "I know you can do it!" or "You're really improving!" (even though they may have hit a plateau), or "I have faith in you!"

     Even if you don't really believe those things, if saying them makes the person more positive and self-motivated, and they do break out of a rut and start getting better, is it still a lie? Is it a white lie, in that it does no one any harm? Is it a justified lie, in that you got done what needed done with no negative consequences? Is it not even remotely a lie, because by saying it, it became true?

     Regardless of the answer, I'm still going to keep doing it, because helping others succeed is a wonderful goal. Every now and then, though, in the small hours of the night, I feel guilty for being not completely truthful...