When not to apologize

     You often hear the advice, "learn when to say no," regarding ways to uncomplicated your life and be happier. What they don't mention is the aftermath of that: saying no and not feeling badly about it. I've learned to say no to things like overtime, people who will drag your life down with drama, errant ex-boyfriends, horrible job offers, and invitations to events I really don't think I'd enjoy. The problem is that then I agonize over the decision, trying to decide if it was justified or just selfish and rude.

     Segue for a moment: this past week, I started a new job. It's the first full-time job I've had in five years, and it seems like a really good fit for me. The people are crazy (the good kind of crazy though), the work is diverse, and I'm not watching the clock every day, waiting for 5:00 to get there and free me. There's a lot to learn, but I'm enjoying it. So it stands to reason that this is the week that I get contacted by my translation internship to ask if I want to be involved in possibly opening up a branch office in my location. Had they asked before this job was on the horizon, I would have unhesitatingly jumped at the opportunity. But now, well, I have a better prospect, so I said thank you, but no.

FTP 56 - Learning

And yet society has taught us, these days, that we should fear failure. There is a difference between striving for success, and being so wary of someone else finding out that we fail- an integral part of reaching successfulness- that you don't even try. 

Buck society, try new things, fall on your face, pick yourself up, and keep going. There is more shame in stagnation and backwardness (in my opinion) than in trying and failing until you make it happen. Cheers!

FTP 41 - Fairness to yourself

     When we're young, we're taught that you should be fair, share what you have with others, and try to be the better person. My parents, in particular, focussed on trying to get us to see the other person's point of view when we got in an argument. While this is, in theory, an admirable goal, there are times when it becomes rather a hindrance in life.

     Now, to start with, it takes a fair bit for me to get angry. Like long-term taking advantage of me, or being horrifically rude and never apologizing, or maliciously damaging my stuff. Outside of active ill-will, however, it's very hard for me to stay angry at someone, because my treacherous mind inevitably starts thinking, "well, look at it from their point of view. Do they have a reason for what they did? Is there logic behind their actions?" And, being the nice person I am, I convince myself that yes, they had a reason to do what they did, and then feel guilty about being angry.

A reused picture appears! It's still effective!

FTP 32 - Forgiving yourself

     Something I have come to realize lately is how unequally I treat myself compared to how I treat my friends, my family, and even strangers. Maybe it's time to even that playing field a bit.