One of the things that I have seen crop up again and again in life is a correlation between how excited I get about something new and the success or failure of achieving it. When I get super excited about, say, a new job or opportunity, I will talk it up to everyone I know, live every moment of the day with this new thing in mind, and inevitably be crushed when it doesn't come true or doesn't live up to my inflated dreams. On the other hand, if I simply acknowledge the possibility of said new potential and continue living my life as if it is simply a part of of me already, it inevitably comes true and rarely disappoints. But why the difference? Why, given things like The Secret or Oprah telling us that positive thinking makes good things happen, would the level of enthusiasm around something cause it to crash?
The answer, I feel, relates back to that old adage of going in with your eyes wide open, and living with them half shut. I realize this is most often used when talking of marriage, but realistically, it's a pretty good rule to apply to most things. Let's take as an example my last job search. One of the jobs that called me in for an interview was on campus being a general helper for the physics department. I was thrilled, because it sounded like a great job to have. It was already on campus, flexible with changing class schedules, and the people there were mostly crazy science nuts (in a good way). It required things like knowing how to use power tools, delivering mail within the department, signing off on deliveries for said crazy science projects, etc... generally a varied and fun job.
By contrast, I also had an interview with a nice little office job, also with flexible scheduling, but off-campus and in a small tax company, basically scanning and monitoring databases. The pay was better, but it looked, in a nutshell, boring. Same thing, day in and day out, meeting only tax professionals (who are a completely different and more placid kind of crazy), wearing polite office clothes, and leading a quiet little life. I'm not exactly an office sort of person, and I would not have said that I have ever lived a nice, quiet, little life, but it was a decent opportunity, so I went through with the interview.
Every day, I woke up and hoped to hear back from the science guy. I would think positively when opening my email, I would cross my fingers when the phone rang, I told my parents, my friends, my acquaintances and darn near anyone who even looked at me sideways how awesome this job would be if I got it. Needless to say, that gentleman sent me an email saying they had filled the position, but good luck in the future; not more than 10 minutes later, I got an email offering me a position with the tax office.
Not being stupid, I accepted, bought a few more office clothes, and settled in to my new job. As I got to know my co-workers better, however, it became clear that there were more perks here than I had originally thought. For starters, there is not a single person in the office that I do not enjoy talking to, an extreme rarity in today's world. They did not bat an eye when I asked for spring break off to visit with friends, or for a month off in the summer to go back to Russia. When the databases that were under my care went down, there was no finger pointing or accusations, we simply got them fixed and updated with a few suggestions I had. While the work is slightly repetitive, the atmosphere and general feeling of niceness that pervades the office is more than worth it.
Looking back from my current vantage point, I can see things that would have been troublesome with the science job. For one, he had mentioned that work hours during the summer get cut to basically zero- something that would have helped for travel, but not for things like paying bills. There was also mention of having to use a golf cart to deliver mail and heavier packages- fun in the summer, not so great in winter. These and a few other things make it clear that, while there would have been aspects of the job that were awesome, it was not quite the rosy utopia I had envisioned.
This sort of thing has happened more times than I care to admit in my life. If I'm simply happy or excited about something, it generally comes true, and I'm equally happy to go along living with it, because I've already weighed the positives and the negatives and decided it's worth it. Getting super-hyped-up about something, though, usually means I've missed some of the negatives, and it's probably for the best that it didn't come true: for example, being stuck in a golf cart in 10" of snow and 19 degree weather, regretting my decision to pass up a better-paying job in a warm office.
So the next time an opportunity comes up, it's worth it to really step back and take a look at it first. Then, once you've thumped the tires, checked the engine, and counted how many teeth the salesman is showing... then it's worth getting excited about. Cheers!
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| Problem is, the shadows are still there... |
The answer, I feel, relates back to that old adage of going in with your eyes wide open, and living with them half shut. I realize this is most often used when talking of marriage, but realistically, it's a pretty good rule to apply to most things. Let's take as an example my last job search. One of the jobs that called me in for an interview was on campus being a general helper for the physics department. I was thrilled, because it sounded like a great job to have. It was already on campus, flexible with changing class schedules, and the people there were mostly crazy science nuts (in a good way). It required things like knowing how to use power tools, delivering mail within the department, signing off on deliveries for said crazy science projects, etc... generally a varied and fun job.
By contrast, I also had an interview with a nice little office job, also with flexible scheduling, but off-campus and in a small tax company, basically scanning and monitoring databases. The pay was better, but it looked, in a nutshell, boring. Same thing, day in and day out, meeting only tax professionals (who are a completely different and more placid kind of crazy), wearing polite office clothes, and leading a quiet little life. I'm not exactly an office sort of person, and I would not have said that I have ever lived a nice, quiet, little life, but it was a decent opportunity, so I went through with the interview.
 |
| This is much more my style. |
Every day, I woke up and hoped to hear back from the science guy. I would think positively when opening my email, I would cross my fingers when the phone rang, I told my parents, my friends, my acquaintances and darn near anyone who even looked at me sideways how awesome this job would be if I got it. Needless to say, that gentleman sent me an email saying they had filled the position, but good luck in the future; not more than 10 minutes later, I got an email offering me a position with the tax office.
Not being stupid, I accepted, bought a few more office clothes, and settled in to my new job. As I got to know my co-workers better, however, it became clear that there were more perks here than I had originally thought. For starters, there is not a single person in the office that I do not enjoy talking to, an extreme rarity in today's world. They did not bat an eye when I asked for spring break off to visit with friends, or for a month off in the summer to go back to Russia. When the databases that were under my care went down, there was no finger pointing or accusations, we simply got them fixed and updated with a few suggestions I had. While the work is slightly repetitive, the atmosphere and general feeling of niceness that pervades the office is more than worth it.
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| This stuff actually happens!! |
Looking back from my current vantage point, I can see things that would have been troublesome with the science job. For one, he had mentioned that work hours during the summer get cut to basically zero- something that would have helped for travel, but not for things like paying bills. There was also mention of having to use a golf cart to deliver mail and heavier packages- fun in the summer, not so great in winter. These and a few other things make it clear that, while there would have been aspects of the job that were awesome, it was not quite the rosy utopia I had envisioned.
This sort of thing has happened more times than I care to admit in my life. If I'm simply happy or excited about something, it generally comes true, and I'm equally happy to go along living with it, because I've already weighed the positives and the negatives and decided it's worth it. Getting super-hyped-up about something, though, usually means I've missed some of the negatives, and it's probably for the best that it didn't come true: for example, being stuck in a golf cart in 10" of snow and 19 degree weather, regretting my decision to pass up a better-paying job in a warm office.
So the next time an opportunity comes up, it's worth it to really step back and take a look at it first. Then, once you've thumped the tires, checked the engine, and counted how many teeth the salesman is showing... then it's worth getting excited about. Cheers!
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