A friend and I were talking about being overworked recently, and a certain correlation was pointed out between being overworked and being a zombie- noticeably a lack of upper brain functions, aversion to daylight, semi-somnolent ambulatory skills, etc, etc. So if you're starting to be a little confused as to whether you are an overworked stiff or a zombie, here's a convenient flowchart for you to follow.
Please note! Do not attempt to administer this test to another person, as you run the risk of getting munched on, should things go badly. If you suspect that someone you know is turning into a zombie, follow these instructions:
- Find someone you really don't like and can live without.
- Coat them in BBQ sauce- the stronger the better, as zombies don't usually have good sinuses.
- Send them into a lockable room with the above chart printed out.
- Have them administer the test.
- If they emerge alive, you're probably safe, although they're probably mad at you now.
- If they get chomped on, lock the door and call the CDC.
And if the CDC tell you to buzz off, ship the zombie to them. Be sure to duct tape the box thoroughly, and don't bother with air holes- that's a good way to lose a finger. Cheers!
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