Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Reflections

     Despite having come to Russia to study, well, Russian, I find that the attitude and cultural differences here are pushing me to do a fair bit of soul-searching and self-evaluation as well. Feeling disconnected from society at large has given me the space to really reflect on who I am, who I want to be, and how to reconcile the differences between the two. Don't get me wrong, I'm still soaking in the culture and language, but it's become almost a subconscious thing while I focus on other things (which I suppose is a good thing... I picked up the words and pronunciations of the announcement on the subway the last time I was here before I even knew what the words meant).

     As some of you may know, I was raped six years ago, and it has had a huge influence on my life. I denied it for a good long while, and when I finally admitted it, I hid behind it as a reason for not facing some of the more broken parts of me. A friend in WoW finally smacked me upside the head with some truths I needed to hear, and I've been working with both him and my amazing, accepting, and wonderfully supportive man to get past it. Having the space to work through the crap in my head is a welcome bonus, and I'm hoping to be both better at Russian and in a better place in my head when I get back. Unexpected bonus!

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