Fewer words

     As I try to be a calmer, more patient and forgiving person, I find that I have less that I'm willing to say, and less to talk about on the blog. Not that I don't still have opinions, I just don't feel they need to be shared as much. So rather than a wordy post, here are two photos taken at one of our construction sites at work that I felt were quietly pretty. There's a lot of clamour for people's attention lately; I appreciate the quiet moments more.

Dormancy

     Been a bit quiet of late. Some of that is that I've been busy getting things done, and some of it is that I'm simply becoming quieter. My opinion does not need to be given on every issue that comes my way, especially since I'm not completely informed on many of them. Unfortunately, since sketches are usually my opinion on things, that does mean I've done less drawing lately. It's not gone, though, no worries there.

     Anyway, as things are slowing down with the season change, thought I'd catch up here. In no particular order, here are things that I've worked on recently:

Sewing: Halloween outfit (Slytherin student from Hogwarts, and apparently this was the most people who've ever dressed up for Halloween at work), and work pants.

Exercise: Still doing boot camp two nights a week, and running twice a week at home. The Kenpo Karate class is on break until December; I'm enjoying that quite a bit.

Financially comfortable

     One of my goals when I was young was to be "financially comfortable." I knew being filthy rich was probably out of my league, but I was happy with the idea of having enough money so that, when emergencies arise, they don't completely derail finances.Maybe not an exciting goal, but hopefully a realistic one.

     Recently, I took my car in for scheduled service, and they told me all four of my tires had low tread, and would need replaced before winter. I had noticed some slipping on rainy days, or when trying to take off too fast, so I believed them. I shopped around a bit, and found a deal on some decent tires - not super high end, but not settling, either - for about $450, and just... got them. Made an appointment, got them done, paid it off as soon as the charges hit my card. Yeah, it wasn't a big emergency, but I remember many times in life when that would have put a serious crimp in things. It was a pretty good feeling to know I'd hit a goal. Maybe it's time to raise the bar on that one.

#Metoo

     When the #Metoo hashtag started trending, I didn't copy it at first, for a couple reasons. Unfortunately, in bringing awareness to the problem, it's also brought my awareness back to my own experiences, which I thought I'd dealt with and put away. Perhaps those feelings of shame and anger and self-loathing - both immediately after it happened and years later, asking myself why I didn't stand up for myself at the time - will never really go away, I'll just be able to forget them from time to time.

     Anyway, one of the problems with talking about it, as someone who's experienced it, is the fear of reaction. I'm sure it's incomplete, but here are some possible responses:

• Disbelief: will they even believe me? 
• Dismissal: "That was just one instance." As if that makes it okay.
• Justification/ victim-blaming: "I'm sure there's more to it than you're saying - were you drunk, or wearing a short skirt? Were you flirting with him?"
• Avoidance: "Well, not all men do it, there are good men out there, too!" Agreed. But I had to deal with one of the bad ones, and nothing is being done to stop them.
• Pity: Being relegated to being "A Victim," and watching a friend/coworker/boss/whatever treat you differently because you're not a friend/coworker/employee - you're A Victim.

     The biggest thing that keeps me from saying anything, even today when the topic came up at work, is that I don't want the above reactions, but I'm honestly not sure what a positive reaction would be. A friend on facebook posted that his feed was flooded with the hashtag, and he didn't realize it was so pervasive; he didn't know what to say, so he put #ibelieveyou. Just reading that - words on a screen, that someone realized it's an issue and needs worked on - brought me to tears. Because someone believed. Because someone cared. Because things might actually change and fewer people will have to deal with it in the future. 

     Now imagine if someone said that in person, at work, and a coworker started crying. You'd look at them differently, wouldn't you? And that's with a positive response. See why we don't say anything?

Rhymes and recipes

     For some reason, the witches' speech from Macbeth was going through my head the other day, and it occurred to me that making a recipe rhyme would probably be very handy back in the days before writing and recipe boxes were common. Without more ado, then, here's a modern recipe in rhyme form:

Trail Mix Cookies

Laughter, love, and lots of kisses,
Time to fill some cookies wishes.
Foil cover a cookie sheet,
Set the over to 350 heat.

Painting

     So they've been painting the new kitchen for the past few days, and apparently they're using a special kind of applicator for a special flecked paint, which is REALLY LOUD. Again, my brain went other places... (it really did sound like something roaring).

Decency and a new kitchen

     Our work kitchen has been under renovation for the past month, and it's finally nearing completion. We've been using a meeting room as the break room, which has serious limits on what can be prepared, due to lack of running water. As the new kitchen is finished, however, one of my coworkers sent an email to the "company mother" asking her to send out an email on "helpful tips to keep our new kitchen sparkling," since there are some.... less than clean-minded folk who work here.

     One of the suggestions was "how to and how not to use the ice machine," as people would constantly pull out the ice tray on the old machine and rummage about with their bare hands, then not put it back in properly, so no more ice would be made. My mind, of course, took it in entirely a different direction:

You wouldn't think you'd have to specify this, but it might not hurt to do so....

Conventions and mindsets

     We made a bit of a last-minute decision to go to a local comic convention this weekend. For once, there was no stressing out about outfits, as we just wore the Star Wars cosplay that we put together for the previous con, so that was nice. We got in, met up with some friends, and wandered around taking in the scene and the others picked up some books and art. I'm not super into comics, but I had a good time seeing other cosplay ideas (I counted 85 Harley Quinns of varying eras and accuracies). On the way home, as my gentleman did his usual "Thank you for coming!" that I always get when going to stuff he likes, I started thinking about why I go... and why I don't mind.

     I am definitely not a type A personality, but I do tend to track a number of things in my head at any given time, including a schedule of where to be, when, and the consequences for being late; who's in my group, where they went, and whether they're enjoying themselves; and whether I and my group are blocking traffic, causing chaos, or otherwise being disruptive or not. 

While I still do a little bit of that at these cons, it feels like a lot of the pressure is off, because a) I'm not responsible for everyone being here, and thus, whether people are having a good time, and b) I'm not on a schedule, so I literally have nothing that needs done/checked/arrived by/ sorted/ what have you. I can just show up, enjoy, and head home when everything's done and people start getting tired. It's rather freeing, and quite enjoyable. So while I appreciate the thanks from the gentleman, it's also a nice little break for me, even if I don't get into the actual purpose of the con. 

Office types

Observation:

Result:

"Once in a generation!"

   Saw a news article today about Hurricane Irma being a "once-in-a-generation" level storm. A quick google search of this phrase, however, brings up reports from (supposedly) credible weather sources about these "once-in-a-generation" hurricanes:

• Irene (2011)
• Sandy (2012)
• Harvey (August 2016)
• Irma (September 2016)

This doesn't even scratch the surface on "once in a lifetime" hurricane and flooding hits, mind you, just "once in a generation" hurricanes only.

     I realize I'm not completely up to date on generations and which ends where and what times they cover, but I'm pretty sure generations are more than 1 month, 1 year, or 4 years, respectively. This leads me to wonder what type of generations, exactly, these people are talking about. Mosquito generations? Rabbit generations? Octopi? Rats? Finches?

     Maybe, just maybe, we should stop overreacting and over-exaggerating things. 

Goodbye parkour, hello boot camp

     Parkour gym closed for good this past week. Unusually for me, I decided to stop in to the goodbye party on Friday night, and they were encouraging people to "sign off" on the floor - make your last mark, leave memories, etc. Never one to pass up a drawing opportunity, I added the below tags:

 A QM (quadrupedal movement) is any method of moving on all 4s. Proper form (back flat, knees off the ground) is rather strenuous to do, especially back and forth many times in a row.




My celtic knot didn't turn out terribly well, so I added words.

Return to cosplay

     This past weekend, my gentleman and I went to a comic con in CT. It was the first time in my life that a male was not only willing, but actually suggested we cosplay together, so I jumped on it despite having schoolwork and other hobbies to deal with. I like to think I've calmed down since I was last cosplaying (mostly for the ren faire, but I have made steampunk stuff as well), so instead of jumping right into things with the final material, I took a couple other steps in between. This decision was also based on the fact that I didn't have an actual pattern for any of the pieces I was making, and the fabric stores near me are rather limited in their selection of useful, hardwearing fabrics.

Tunic/ Obi

Step 1: Mockup
     Using sheets from the thrift store ($1.50 for a king size sheet instead of $1/yd even for cheap fabric at the store), I made a mockup of the tunic, using a kimono-style cosplay pattern. It seemed to go pretty well, so I jumped the gun and made it out of the final fabric, only to discover that the stiffer fabric didn't hang well unless it was rather revealing in the front, and the collar sat almost at the shoulders, making it very difficult to wear a robe over it.

yay tunic!








         boo, wide collar






Step 2: Mockup round two and modifications
     Switching to a generic jedi tunic pattern, I made the mockup, then changed the side seams to be a bit more fitted and made the sleeves wider (this sounds so easy - there were several trials of this). I made a mockup of the obi/ waist band from that pattern as well, to make sure the final would sit properly and modestly, then transferred the pattern and my modifications to the final fabric.

No bucket list?

     Got word this week that the parkour gym in Baltimore is closing. While I am rather saddened by this, I'm choosing to focus on the fact that I got to study parkour for a year and a half, and that there are opportunities to continue doing so, if I choose to take them up. Having decided on that point of view, however, I started thinking about all the things I've gotten to do in life. You frequently hear about bucket lists - things that people want to see and do before they die - and google is full of "best ideas to add to  your bucket list" pages. I get stuck, though, on the concept of having a list of things you want to do - or think you want to do - or think you should want to do - just lying around waiting for you to pay attention to it.

     I don't have a bucket list (surprise, considering the title of this post). Don't get me wrong, there are probably things I want to do before I die, but instead of making a list based on things I want now, which, let's face it, is apt to change as life progresses, I prefer to live life in such a way that when opportunity or interest hits me, I can go and do it. My father has a story he's fond of telling about a person who would"someday" go on that bucket list trip to Europe. Things kept never being quite right, and they died having never gone on a simple trip. Don't wait for "someday," he says, make it happen.

Work AND school AND hobbies?

     I was hoping this last class wouldn't be too time-consuming, but it still takes its toll. Despite that, however, I've found snippets of time here and there to keep working on sewing, since my gentleman and I are heading out to a convention the weekend after the class ends. It's taken a fair bit of time, but I finally finished his outfit, and we're heading up to an Amish fabric store tomorrow to get fabric for mine (no, it won't be purple):

Delay in career change

     When I interviewed for this job in 2014, I told them up front that I would work until I finished my master's degree - roughly three years. I let me boss know last winter that I would start putting out applications around the beginning of the year, as the field I want to go into has long lead times on getting a position. When my yearly review came up in February of this year, it started out like this:

New Hire #1

     In anticipation of my graduation and career change, my boss decided to start looking for my replacement now. On the one hand, it's a little early, as I still have two months of school left, plus however long it takes to apply, interview, and accept a job offer. On the other hand, between the horror stories of the people they had in before I was hired and the fact that the learning curve for this position is six months at the least (there are days I feel like I'm still on the learning curve after 3 years), I can't really argue.

     The theory is that we will hire someone to shadow me, and in slow periods, they will crosstrain with my equivalent in the asset management (AM) side of things. As it stands now, both asset management and development are small departments - we joke that if any of us gets hit by a bus, we're all in trouble - so crosstraining is not a bad idea.

Encouragement

     There have been a couple points in life where I've been ready to give up, at least for a little bit, until someone comes in and believes in me while I can't. Those are incredibly empowering moments, and I've done my best to pay it forward by encouraging others around me. Sometimes, though, I wonder if I go over the top and shift from being helpful to too much to deal with right now.

*Edit: Since multiple people have mentioned it: no, this is not a sneaky comment about anyone in my life. I legitimately just wonder if other people think that about me sometimes. 

Changes?

    The last semester of my Master's degree starts today, which means in 10 weeks - hopefully - I will be done with school. A couple people have asked if this means I'll be getting back to updating here and (more importantly) doing sketches again. Short answer: I don't know. I'm not sure where life will go from here, but I hope to have a slightly less hectic schedule that would allow me to start sketching again.

Garden 2017

     Entering year 4 of the garden, and so far, no year has been alike. The first year gave a bumper crop of cucumbers, which then failed miserably in 2015 and 2016. Tomatoes have been fairly reliable, as well as garlic, but carrots, beans, and even strawberries seem to be hit or miss. Last year we had an incredibly short springtime, with temperatures getting to 80 by April. This year, it's the middle of May and we're still getting close to freezing on some nights. Regardless, it's still relaxing and productive, so the garden continues.

A quick recap in pictures... 2014 was the first year, had a lot of success but a LOT of weeds.

2015, I lost the lower level and took over the garden next to me. We tried using straw to keep the weeds down, with moderate success. Good crop of strawberries in the middle, but the corn in the back on the right was eaten by.... everything. The raspberries appeared to die a horrible death.

2016, I learned to net the blueberries so the bids couldn't steal them. Many crops were a success, but then work got busy during harvest and we missed out on a lot of melons and soybeans. The raspberries, surprisingly, came back a bit, but were still struggling.

And so far, 2017 is going not too terribly. I don't have panorama pictures yet, but here are some highlights. I restructured the entrance with some random paving stones we had laying around, so we can actually get a wheelbarrow (for mulch and compost and suchlike) into and out of the garden.








The tools area had been a mess of weeds and stuff, so I leveled it off, put an extra bed frame down over weedblocker, and we now have a place to put a chair for relaxation.

The raspberries not only came back, but have created no fewer than 5 additional canes throughout the bed. Moral of the story, don't give up on something after one bad year.







The top tier has ever-bearing strawberries (many crops throughout the year) while the lower beds are June-bearing (one giant crop all at once). We had just enough fencing left over to cordon off an asparagus that randomly sprouted in the tomato bed. The creeping thyme that is supposed to be growing in the pathway between the strawberries hasn't come up yet, but I'm sure it will.

Surprisingly, due to the cold weather, the lettuce is doing very well. Last year we tried to plant some but it got so hot, so early, that it all bolted and was ruined. This is a random mix of many kinds of lettuce.

     The blueberries are doing wonderfully, and will need to be netted soon. Last year, I let the grapevine grow wild to build up reserves. This year, I'm trying my hand at espalier'ing it, and it has a lot of grape flowers starting, so here's hoping! I did lose a pepper and some squash leaves to the cold snap two weeks ago, but everything else is doing well, and the weed blocker is doing an amazing job. It took 4 years, but I think the garden is finally at a state of maintenance, instead of frantic catch-up. 

Being strong

      When I first got the urge to get in better shape, I searched to see what was available nearby. The first thing that caught my eye was parkour, because it encourages free movement, running, jumping, and generally being a kid again, playing out in the woods. At the time, parkour gyms were less prevalent than they are now, but there was one in my town, and offering adult classes. I contacted them, and they said the prereq for doing parkour was to show I could do: 50 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 50 pull-ups at one go. So that was right out (hint, I still can't do that). Instead, I joined Irish dance, and had a wonderful time getting in better cardio shape and kicking my shins black and blue.

     Unfortunately, when I graduated and moved to the east coast, I was unable to find another Irish dance team that I really liked. I mooched around feeling sorry for myself for a while, then I stumbled onto this website called NerdFitness, which attempts to break down exercise and being healthy into gaming and "nerd" concepts. The posts were awesome, bridging the nerd/jock gap, the community was hugely supportive, and I was frankly sick of doing more and more cardio workouts with less and less result, so I gave it a try. When I first tried the beginner's bodyweight workout, I could barely do two sets of a few squats, lunges, knee push-ups, dumbbell rows and planks. Nevertheless, I persisted, and was very proud when I was able to do a third set, and then started adding weights.

     In September of 2015, I managed to fracture my ankle while ungracefully walking down stairs. For two months, I could not work out at all, and then pushed to get into physical therapy (pt), get walking, and try to better than before. I've always brushed off my bruises and running into walls as just clumsiness, but pt taught me that it was poor flexibility and strength that made me clumsy. Here I was, 35 years old, and injured walking down stairs because I was too out of shape to avoid damaging myself. If I'm aiming to live past 100, this is not a sustainable plan.

     Although strength training at home through an online forum is great, it's not the same as getting in-person training and social time, so once again, I looked around to see what was available. This time, I found a parkour place not too far away that had zero pre-reqs: come in and try it out. I stalled for a bit, looking for someone to go with on the scary first endeavor, but once I finally went... I was hooked. Since so very many things can go wrong in parkour, the focus of training is safety first. First you learn how to fail out of a move, then you learn the move. Can't do the move yet? Here are the steps to work up to it. Everyone get in line, do the variation you can do safely. Go.

     I've been doing parkour now for a little over a year. When I started, I was doing one hour, every other week, and barely able to do a lot of the moves. Now, I'm doing 3 hours, every weekend, and holding my own on quite a few of the moves. Still lots of room for improvement, but I've come a long way.

Move	February '16	May '17
Precision jumps	-	Tweaking form
Cat hang	A few seconds	Working on cat hang pull-ups
Cat leap	-	Tweaking form
Quadrupedal movement (QM)	A few seconds	30 seconds, balancing a bar on my back
Easy vault	2.5' vault box	3' vault box
Safety/speed vault	2.5' box, climb over	3' vault box, working on speed vault
Kong vault	-	Standing jump onto a 2.5' box
Parkour rolls	Working on form	Still working on form
Kip-up	-	Can kip-up into back bridge
Handstands	Against a wall	Hold for a few seconds, free-standing
Running laps	Less than 1	2 laps without stopping

     One of the classes that I take there is like a full-body pt course - we do flexibility and mobility work, and if something doesn't work right, the teacher explains why it hurts, what's probably going on in your body, and how to do exercises at home to fix it. In winter of 2016, I learned I have a partially torn rotator cuff. Between regular pt and the stuff we do at parkour, it is not an issue, and I'm still doing crazy-fun things that, two years ago, I wouldn't even consider doing. There are still some aches and pains of getting older, but I can touch my toes, run laps, do back bridges, fall and roll in any direction, climb up and jump down from 6' boxes, hop over railings, and just generally have fun with my environment. 100 years old, here I come.