As I'm sure you've noticed by now, most people in the world can be classified, more or less, into the categories of "neat" or "messy". Naturally, there are gradations within these categories, but in general, people have a tendency to lean towards one side or the other. I tend to fall on the neat side; I like to keep my house in fairly good order, because if I don't, I end up misplacing things and not finding them for a few days, weeks, or years.
What I find interesting is that, many times, I will let things slide a little bit until something inside me says, "No, no more slacking, it's time to do something about this situation!" And it's not just that way about cleaning either. I'm sure everyone can think of a time where they saw something start to get a little off-kilter, and
decided it wasn't worth exerting the effort just yet. Then a little while later, hopefully before the situation becomes a train wreck, something inside just ticks over, and suddenly it's time to address the issue.
Now, understand that I'm no scientist, and while there are any number of scientific papers to be read out there involving the prefrontal cortex of the antifibullar medulla (yes, I made that up) and neural responses to decision making in rats and monkey, most of which are deliberately over-scientific and crammed with immensely compound words... I propose the following theory.
Everyone, in their heads, has a metaphorical landscape. What it looks like isn't terribly important, but it's there, and in the center is a nice wellspring of cope-ability. Just as it says, this is your personal ability to deal with things in a calm and rational manner. Some people have very abundant wells, others not so much, but if this well dries up, you've lost it, and are about to do something a little over-the-top. This font of cope-ability is surrounded by a patchwork of fabrics. Not the stuff you'd find in a craft store, but more like the proposed idea of the fabric of space and time. It bends, it gives, and when put under too much pressure, it'll break.
Each piece of fabric correlates to how much you are willing to put up with a certain issue. So, for example, my ability to put up with my own lousy cooking is similar to a piece of warm play-doh, while the patch that holds my ability to put up with people who hurt my friends shares certain qualities with a sandwich of lead and concrete that's been dipped in liquid nitrogen. Not very flexible or forgiving.
Now, when an issue shows up in your life, it's as if a weight has been dropped onto that section of fabric in your landscape. The weight distorts the fabric, and your well of cope-ability has to send out a pipeline to cover up the weight and maintain uniformity. If it's a little weight, or if that section of your fabric is particularly malleable, then not a lot of cope-ability is required, and the weight/ issue can be dealt with peacefully.
Medium weights are when you've reached your limit. You recognize that it's time to do something before the fabric of that area becomes too strained and breaks, so there's a sense of responsibility and some urgency, but it's not overly critical just yet.
If it's a big weight, or if your fabric breaks easily, that's when things start going wrong. Your cope-ability is being taxed, so you can't deal with other things on top of this big issue, and eventually it all blows up in someone's face. Your temper remains short until the issue is fixed, patched, or replaced by a more forgiving fabric, and your cope-ability wellspring has a chance to regenerate.
While I won't claim that there is any scientific backing to this, you have to admit it explains the facts pretty well, eh? "Displacement activity", "channeling into other areas", "breaking down", "bending on an issue"... all the signs are there! People with sluggish cope-ability fountains take forever to get over major blow-up, and people who seem to be able to deal with everything well usually cool off pretty fast after they're pushed too far and have dealt with the issue.
So the next time something taxes your patience, try to clear off old weights, reinforce that section with a new type of fabric, or just warn someone that they're close to reaching their cope-ability limit. Cheers!
What I find interesting is that, many times, I will let things slide a little bit until something inside me says, "No, no more slacking, it's time to do something about this situation!" And it's not just that way about cleaning either. I'm sure everyone can think of a time where they saw something start to get a little off-kilter, and
decided it wasn't worth exerting the effort just yet. Then a little while later, hopefully before the situation becomes a train wreck, something inside just ticks over, and suddenly it's time to address the issue.
Everyone, in their heads, has a metaphorical landscape. What it looks like isn't terribly important, but it's there, and in the center is a nice wellspring of cope-ability. Just as it says, this is your personal ability to deal with things in a calm and rational manner. Some people have very abundant wells, others not so much, but if this well dries up, you've lost it, and are about to do something a little over-the-top. This font of cope-ability is surrounded by a patchwork of fabrics. Not the stuff you'd find in a craft store, but more like the proposed idea of the fabric of space and time. It bends, it gives, and when put under too much pressure, it'll break.
Each piece of fabric correlates to how much you are willing to put up with a certain issue. So, for example, my ability to put up with my own lousy cooking is similar to a piece of warm play-doh, while the patch that holds my ability to put up with people who hurt my friends shares certain qualities with a sandwich of lead and concrete that's been dipped in liquid nitrogen. Not very flexible or forgiving.
Now, when an issue shows up in your life, it's as if a weight has been dropped onto that section of fabric in your landscape. The weight distorts the fabric, and your well of cope-ability has to send out a pipeline to cover up the weight and maintain uniformity. If it's a little weight, or if that section of your fabric is particularly malleable, then not a lot of cope-ability is required, and the weight/ issue can be dealt with peacefully.
Medium weights are when you've reached your limit. You recognize that it's time to do something before the fabric of that area becomes too strained and breaks, so there's a sense of responsibility and some urgency, but it's not overly critical just yet.
If it's a big weight, or if your fabric breaks easily, that's when things start going wrong. Your cope-ability is being taxed, so you can't deal with other things on top of this big issue, and eventually it all blows up in someone's face. Your temper remains short until the issue is fixed, patched, or replaced by a more forgiving fabric, and your cope-ability wellspring has a chance to regenerate.
So the next time something taxes your patience, try to clear off old weights, reinforce that section with a new type of fabric, or just warn someone that they're close to reaching their cope-ability limit. Cheers!
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