Attitude, part 2.

     So, picking up where we left off last time, it had been pretty obviously driven home that I was messed up. I didn't trust anyone, I didn't like anyone outside of the three friends I had, I was angry beyond belief at the world in general, and I was extremely uncomfortable around people. For better or for worse, I decided to start out by fixing the 'not liking people' issue. After all, trust comes with time, and it's really easy to avoid people and be angry at them when they are faceless strangers, right? I had a plan, vague as it was, and it was time to get to work.

     Somewhat conveniently, it was about this time that I started college, first part-time around work, and then full-time as the company was bought out and my "customers are more important than money" attitude became unpopular. One thing college will do, no matter what age you are when you go, is expose you to other people. And while there are an awful lot of wet-behind-the-ears newbies spouting off the latest philosophy or slogan they've come across, there are also a lot of really interesting people with solid ideas (hint: if you're a bit of a strange cookie, look for the other strange cookies). Once I learned to choke back the instant dislike of having to interact with people, and actually engaged a few of them in conversations to find out why they believed what they did, rather than just what bandwagon they were on, I started to get along with them much better.

FTP 10 - Let it go

     About a year ago, as I was restructuring my life (and, unbeknownst to me, just before I lost my older sister and would be deeply in need of uplifting thoughts), I picked up a book called More Notes from the Universe. It was on sale, and looked like it had some pretty inspirational ideas, so I figured why not, and started reading a couple pages a day. For the first time in my life, I willingly dog-eared pages of a book, because these were things I really needed to hear. One that's been pretty relevant lately goes like this:

     In a world where it's ridiculously easy to get self-righteous when you see someone else cheating, speeding, breaking the law, cutting ahead, etc etc, it really pays to stop and think for a moment. Instead of getting yourself all worked up and being angry or stressed at the unfairness of it all, wouldn't it be better to just let it go, relax, and look at your own life? For better or for worse, they'll get what's coming to them. What's coming to you? Are you ready for it? Don't let that amazing opportunity slip past you, just because you're blinded by someone else's bad choices- you're worth more than that. 

Attitude, part 1

     Despite the fact that many people have said that they look to me for inspiration on being upbeat, open, and positive in life, if you look back at my past, you'll discover that it's actually relatively recent that this attitude has come to pass. When I graduated high school and joined the work force, I was depressed and angry about life (as are most teenagers), and when I moved out to Colorado six years ago, I was highly mistrustful, hurt, and still pretty angry at the world.

Yeah no, I was just antisocial.

     My first couple roommates out here didn't really give me any motivation to change my attitude, and I remained withdrawn and quiet. When I started my first job out here, as an IT support person, I found myself around other nerds, so the pressure to be social wasn't so bad. I found out I had things in common with some of them, and was, at the least, cordial with co-workers within my own department. A couple months after I'd been working there, they hired another strange, nerdy-type person named Sarah as a technical writer, and she and I struck up a friendship. We would go on walks during lunch and actually (gasp!) talk about our personal lives, rather than just work or public topics.

FTP 9 - Look up

     In our social world, where we don't really have any natural predators, most of humanity has forgotten the need to keep an eye out above us. When we hear a loud noise, or something unexpected happens, we tend to look around, down, under, across... everywhere but up. Because really, what is there to look at, upwards? If you're in a city, it contains nothing but bland sides of buildings crowding out the sky and billboards screaming their messages at you. If you're in the suburbs or the country, it's nothing but huge expanses of sky and treetops- nothing up there could possibly be interesting, could it?

Boooooring, right? Wrong.

     Well, yes and no. While there may not be anything immediately eye-catching situated above you, I would argue that there are all kinds of benefits to looking up. For starters, the sheer lack of visual stimuli means your brain actually has to start working, rather than reacting. Whether you're contemplating infinity, or just realizing that there's more to life than the next text message, commercial, or article in the paper, it's a good way to disconnect from the hectic pace of life and just contemplate.

Did you know?

• that the biggest gardening problem in Colorado isn't the weather, but the basic (as opposed to acidic) soil?
• that gardening burns, on average, 8.5 calories per minute? Now consider that no one, generally, gardens for less than a couple hours. An afternoon spent gardening is similar, calorie-wise, to running a few miles.
• that the largest recorded temperature change in Colorado was in 1949 near Fort Collins when it fell from 50 degrees to -40 in 24 hours? The largest fluctuation in U.S. weather is only 10 degrees more than that, in Montana in 1916. 

No thanks...

• that grapes, despite being roughly 80% water, take less water to grow than many other fruits and vegetables? They are also very adaptable to different kinds of soil, but the soil will make the taste of the grape change as well.
• that elevation is not the biggest determining factor in growing season? Cold air rolling down from surrounding mountains and getting stuck in a valley will cause more issues than being at a higher elevation that isn't in an air pocket. 

FTP 8 - Spice of life

     Just for the heck of it, and because I know that gambling is not an addictive problem for me, I have decided to play the lotto every week. I realize that probably nothing will ever come of it, and I'm ok with that. The main reason I decided to do it is twofold: 1) I can afford the $2 a week it costs to play, especially now that I've stopped eating out and started eating more healthfully, and 2) it's an affordable little surprise to look forward to every week.

     Everyone needs a little spice and surprise in their lives to keep things from becoming mundane. Some people choose to jump out of planes, climb mountains, or set new records for diving in deep waters. Others play the stock market (something that holds too much risk, in my point of view), or wrestle alligators. What's your spice in life, and when's the last time you got to indulge?

Russia, take 2.

     As you may or may not know, I am planning on returning to the country that started this whole blog. Last time, in 2010, I had only been learning Russian for 1 semester, and was barely capable of saying "Hello, my name is..." The trip was a nightmare from the beginning, with a missed flight and no one waiting to pick me up at the airport, to the single woman I was supposed to be staying with setting me up in the apartment with her (single) nephew, who then proceeded to attempt to drunken woo me. Suffice to say, I was unimpressed.

I'm going back where???

     This time, however, I will have 3 years of Russian under my belt, a better knowledge of what I'm going into, a shorter stay, fewer cultural excursions (thank goodness), and will be with a different program. One that, hopefully, actually remembers to feed us from time to time. The basic info for the program, run through the Stony Brook University in New York, can be found at this website, under the 4-week Summer School program.

FTP 7 - Push yourself

     In some ways, this has emphatically not been the best week of my life. Coming back off vacation, my stomach not wanting to go back to eating healthfully, seeing the effects of eating whatever I want for a week at dance class, etc, let's just say things have not gone as smoothly as they could.

     Rather than wallow in it though, I'm trying very, very hard to look at it as room to grow. I've been coasting along through the winter, not really pushing myself very hard, knowing I'll get by with relatively minimal effort. Even though spring is arriving in fits and starts, it's still here, and it's time to start some cultivation, both in my garden and in my life.

     So yesterday, I pushed myself farther than usual in dance class. On Wednesday, I started my day with news in French instead of comics. Today, I will be working on my application for an internship in Denver. No, it's not easy. Yes, it would be less work to just sit down and feel put-upon (and believe me, I've spent my time doing so). But a week, a month, a year down the road, which will get things done and make life easier then rather than now?

     What about you? What's in your garden, looking for some tlc?

Filler: vows

     When I was young, I made a lot of vows concerning the rest of my life. And surprisingly, most of them I have been able to keep. Here's a short list of those I can remember:

• No addictive substances in my life, ever. 
• The "hardest" drug I have ever used was a prescription painkiller when I got a concussion after hitting a parked car on my bike when I was 11, and I've only been mildly drunk twice in my life. Being clean and sober is a habit, too. :)
• Never deprive myself of sleep. 
• I have yet to pull an all-nighter for anything, and I'm sure the people who have to deal with me regularly appreciate it.

Never done it, never will. 

• No caffeine in the morning. 
• Keeping this one makes keeping the previous one easier. If you know that you have to deal with the consequences of sleep deprivation without outside help, you're less likely to do it.

Havoc and mayhem

It has been brought to my attention that today's post didn't go up as planned... it turns out that the new blog interface on my side of things ate a couple pictures in the post I had prepared, and sadly, I don't have the time right now to hunt them all back down. My apologies, post will be up by Wednesday!