Sometime in December, my friend Rita invited me to a 'Christmas' celebration at her (Russian orthodox Catholic) church. She had written two plays in Russian for the kids there, and wanted to know if I would be interested in seeing them. Free Russian practice, food, and a chance to support my friends? Sure! Sign me up! All unsuspecting, I headed out there this past Sunday, with no clue what to expect other than crazy Russians and good food. And boy, did I get both.
To anyone who hasn't had the pleasure of encountering Russian food, let me just say this: Paula Dean would approve. Everything is either cooked or soaked in butter, and while it has more vegetables than I care for, everything is absolutely delicious and filling as can be. Which makes sense, considering the weather out there and the need for stick-to-your-ribs food. They also tend to go heavy on breads/ starches, which I adore, and desserts are less sugary-sweet, and more honey-and-fruit varieties, and again, I approve.
True to form, I showed up a little early, since I wasn't sure what was going on. I stood awkwardly in the entryway of the church itself, clearly uncomfortable in unknown settings, and once more having flashbacks to Russia (where we visited more churches than I had ever been into in my life, most of which either required women to wear head-coverings and skirts, or were forbidden to us. Fun fun). Since I had nothing else to do, I played doorkeeper to people coming in and out, and waited to see a face I knew so I could figure out what to do. Fortunately, Rita and her family arrived in fairly short order, the services finished up, and we headed back to the community rooms for the dinner and show.
On the way back, Rita introduced me to what I assumed was her priest, as he was wearing all black, and everyone addressed him as "Seraphim"( I have since been informed that he is "only" a Reader, who is ordained and responsible for reading various texts as well as chanting during services, but (apparently) can be married). I replied politely and kindly to his questions, since I had no reason to do otherwise, and assumed he was being solicitous during the dinner and shows because I was a lost little newbie.
The plays, by the way, were awesome. I didn't have quite all the vocabulary or mental prowess to decipher them, as they were performed by kids, and about sci-fi and fairy tale stuff, but I caught enough to keep up with the story lines. The first was a story of a boy who wanted to always play and have fun, but when his wish was granted, and he got pulled into a painting of a circus, he quickly decided that things like eating real food and going to sleep were important too! His hard-working sister rescued him, and he became a reformed character. Very Russian, and quite fun.
The second play was about what happened after the three little pigs had learned their house-building lessons, and moved back home to live with mom. Mother is a famous actress, and goes off to shoot a film, leaving the three little pigs at home with the family jewels. The wolf, now a con artist, comes along and tries to get the jewels with the help of the butler, but the three little pigs outsmart him again. Mother comes home and reveals that the jewels are fake- the real ones are in a vault in the bank- but that her real jewels are the gift of a loving family.
Since dinner had been going on during the shows (as well as my being regaled with stories by Rita's husband and the Reader guy), I figured once they were over, it was time to go. Most people were just conversing at that point, and since I was full and didn't know many people, I stood up and went looking for Rita to say my goodbyes. The Reader found me and gave me a plate of dessert, which I appreciated and thanked him for profusely (it was chocolate covered strawberries and bananas- delicious!), then found Rita and let her know I was going. She walked me to the door, thanking me for coming and extolling the virtues of the Reader, and left me outside with the final injunction of, "and he's single, just keep that in mind!"
Now, I'll admit, I'm not the fastest on the uptake when it comes to someone being interested in me. However, there is someone else that I am interested in, and he with me, and I know I've told Rita that. But to her, like most Russians, the fact that I'm 32 and not married is just unthinkable, and a situation that must be corrected as quickly as possible. I never in a million years, however, imagined that she would attempt to set me up with a member of the Orthodox Catholic clergy! Seriously? I am not Catholic, have an incredibly earthy sense of humor, am independent, have plans after school that do not include being a good little wifey, and am very prickly about being approached by people I don't know. How on earth does that translate into 'hook me up with a clergyman???'
I did my best to simply forget about that though, and enjoy the memory of the dinner and plays, but this week in dance class, Rita came up to me all conspiratorially (if that's not a word, it is now), and informed me that the Reader "was so crushing on you at the dinner!" I very carefully made an utterly dismissive gesture, and returned to dance. And made a mental note to never go back to that church for any reason. Russians, eh? Yeesh...
To anyone who hasn't had the pleasure of encountering Russian food, let me just say this: Paula Dean would approve. Everything is either cooked or soaked in butter, and while it has more vegetables than I care for, everything is absolutely delicious and filling as can be. Which makes sense, considering the weather out there and the need for stick-to-your-ribs food. They also tend to go heavy on breads/ starches, which I adore, and desserts are less sugary-sweet, and more honey-and-fruit varieties, and again, I approve.
True to form, I showed up a little early, since I wasn't sure what was going on. I stood awkwardly in the entryway of the church itself, clearly uncomfortable in unknown settings, and once more having flashbacks to Russia (where we visited more churches than I had ever been into in my life, most of which either required women to wear head-coverings and skirts, or were forbidden to us. Fun fun). Since I had nothing else to do, I played doorkeeper to people coming in and out, and waited to see a face I knew so I could figure out what to do. Fortunately, Rita and her family arrived in fairly short order, the services finished up, and we headed back to the community rooms for the dinner and show.
On the way back, Rita introduced me to what I assumed was her priest, as he was wearing all black, and everyone addressed him as "Seraphim"( I have since been informed that he is "only" a Reader, who is ordained and responsible for reading various texts as well as chanting during services, but (apparently) can be married). I replied politely and kindly to his questions, since I had no reason to do otherwise, and assumed he was being solicitous during the dinner and shows because I was a lost little newbie.
The plays, by the way, were awesome. I didn't have quite all the vocabulary or mental prowess to decipher them, as they were performed by kids, and about sci-fi and fairy tale stuff, but I caught enough to keep up with the story lines. The first was a story of a boy who wanted to always play and have fun, but when his wish was granted, and he got pulled into a painting of a circus, he quickly decided that things like eating real food and going to sleep were important too! His hard-working sister rescued him, and he became a reformed character. Very Russian, and quite fun.
The second play was about what happened after the three little pigs had learned their house-building lessons, and moved back home to live with mom. Mother is a famous actress, and goes off to shoot a film, leaving the three little pigs at home with the family jewels. The wolf, now a con artist, comes along and tries to get the jewels with the help of the butler, but the three little pigs outsmart him again. Mother comes home and reveals that the jewels are fake- the real ones are in a vault in the bank- but that her real jewels are the gift of a loving family.
Since dinner had been going on during the shows (as well as my being regaled with stories by Rita's husband and the Reader guy), I figured once they were over, it was time to go. Most people were just conversing at that point, and since I was full and didn't know many people, I stood up and went looking for Rita to say my goodbyes. The Reader found me and gave me a plate of dessert, which I appreciated and thanked him for profusely (it was chocolate covered strawberries and bananas- delicious!), then found Rita and let her know I was going. She walked me to the door, thanking me for coming and extolling the virtues of the Reader, and left me outside with the final injunction of, "and he's single, just keep that in mind!"
Now, I'll admit, I'm not the fastest on the uptake when it comes to someone being interested in me. However, there is someone else that I am interested in, and he with me, and I know I've told Rita that. But to her, like most Russians, the fact that I'm 32 and not married is just unthinkable, and a situation that must be corrected as quickly as possible. I never in a million years, however, imagined that she would attempt to set me up with a member of the Orthodox Catholic clergy! Seriously? I am not Catholic, have an incredibly earthy sense of humor, am independent, have plans after school that do not include being a good little wifey, and am very prickly about being approached by people I don't know. How on earth does that translate into 'hook me up with a clergyman???'
I did my best to simply forget about that though, and enjoy the memory of the dinner and plays, but this week in dance class, Rita came up to me all conspiratorially (if that's not a word, it is now), and informed me that the Reader "was so crushing on you at the dinner!" I very carefully made an utterly dismissive gesture, and returned to dance. And made a mental note to never go back to that church for any reason. Russians, eh? Yeesh...
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