One day while standing in line for an ATM, I heard a little boy who was standing with his father behind me lean over to the juniper bushes and say, "look dad! Blueberries!" His dad chuckled and replied, "No son, those aren't blueberries." The little boy repeated his discovery, and was again informed of his error. At a third insistence, however, the dad simply said, "alright. If they're blueberries, go ahead and have one." The son eagerly grabbed one, shoved it in his mouth, and promptly spat it back out again, complaining that those weren't blueberries! I was trying so hard not to laugh as the dad calmly responded, "I told you they weren't. Maybe next time you should listen!"
While there are, no doubt, plenty of child activists and safety prevention groups that would have cheerfully taken this guy to task for "endangering the life of his child," I think that practical lessons are a surefire way to let new information really stick with someone (provided it's not truly life-threatening, as juniper berries are certainly not).
When I was young, my parents were pretty big on practical lessons. I did, actually, stick a fork in the electrical socket. I did, in fact, lick a metal pole in the wintertime. I hit the cat one too many times, I cut my own hair, I touched a hot stove (though stories differ on whether I touched it or was dropped on it...); in short, I did all the things that our parents tell us not to do for our own safety. But you know what? While I did a lot of things- I only ever did each of them once. And after a while, I learned that hey, maybe my parents actually know what they're talking about, and I should listen to them when it comes to things that could actually hurt me.
It's not just about what can hurt you though. Parents can't help some amount of social indoctrination, simply because you can't live completely neutrally, but mine were pretty good about allowing me to be my own person. One day when I was in my early teens, I looked at my mom and made a disparaging remark about her hair, which was obviously not cool, or in style, or whatever. Her response was something along the lines of, "well, then, do something about it!" My little sister and I spent most of the afternoon trying to make my mom look "cool" before finally admitting that no, she did look just fine the way she was, and that what we considered cool really just looked silly on her.
Another vivid memory of my teens years was going out for a walk with my dad one day, and realizing that he was wearing shorts and tennis socks pulled up over his shins. This was in the early 90s, when the leg warmer look was going out, and scrunched-down socks were coming in, so naturally I rolled my eyes and whined about dad looking like an old man. He stopped, asked me how socks should be worn, and then calmly scrunched his down around his ankles. He stepped back with a sort of "well?" look, and I almost fell over laughing. It was so not him, so despite the "old man" factor of pulled-up socks with shorts, I asked him to put his socks back the way he wanted, and we continued on with our walk.
Apart from giving me insight as to the ridiculousness of slavishly following fashion, these two incidents also gave me a huge amount of respect for individuality. Yeah, it may not look cool to me, but you can't change a person into something they're not- it just won't work. And no matter how many times you're told that, sometimes you really just have to experience it for the lesson to stick. Thanks, mom and dad.
While there are, no doubt, plenty of child activists and safety prevention groups that would have cheerfully taken this guy to task for "endangering the life of his child," I think that practical lessons are a surefire way to let new information really stick with someone (provided it's not truly life-threatening, as juniper berries are certainly not).
When I was young, my parents were pretty big on practical lessons. I did, actually, stick a fork in the electrical socket. I did, in fact, lick a metal pole in the wintertime. I hit the cat one too many times, I cut my own hair, I touched a hot stove (though stories differ on whether I touched it or was dropped on it...); in short, I did all the things that our parents tell us not to do for our own safety. But you know what? While I did a lot of things- I only ever did each of them once. And after a while, I learned that hey, maybe my parents actually know what they're talking about, and I should listen to them when it comes to things that could actually hurt me.
It's not just about what can hurt you though. Parents can't help some amount of social indoctrination, simply because you can't live completely neutrally, but mine were pretty good about allowing me to be my own person. One day when I was in my early teens, I looked at my mom and made a disparaging remark about her hair, which was obviously not cool, or in style, or whatever. Her response was something along the lines of, "well, then, do something about it!" My little sister and I spent most of the afternoon trying to make my mom look "cool" before finally admitting that no, she did look just fine the way she was, and that what we considered cool really just looked silly on her.
Another vivid memory of my teens years was going out for a walk with my dad one day, and realizing that he was wearing shorts and tennis socks pulled up over his shins. This was in the early 90s, when the leg warmer look was going out, and scrunched-down socks were coming in, so naturally I rolled my eyes and whined about dad looking like an old man. He stopped, asked me how socks should be worn, and then calmly scrunched his down around his ankles. He stepped back with a sort of "well?" look, and I almost fell over laughing. It was so not him, so despite the "old man" factor of pulled-up socks with shorts, I asked him to put his socks back the way he wanted, and we continued on with our walk.
Apart from giving me insight as to the ridiculousness of slavishly following fashion, these two incidents also gave me a huge amount of respect for individuality. Yeah, it may not look cool to me, but you can't change a person into something they're not- it just won't work. And no matter how many times you're told that, sometimes you really just have to experience it for the lesson to stick. Thanks, mom and dad.
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