Friday, August 24, 2012

FTP 20 - Controlling the self

     Ok, I do believe we are back on track now. That is not to say that I have everything put away, caught up, organized and ready to go, but I've found enough breathing room where I can marshall my thoughts into something resembling order once more. With that in mind, here goes this week's FTP:

     A number of times during the last two months, people asked me, "don't you miss being home?" or, "aren't you tired of being on the road for this long?" If you had asked me even two years ago how I thought I'd handle being away from home for two months, I'd have told you I wouldn't deal with it well. I'm a fairly domestic person, I like having things the way I left them, and I like having my down time- alone and in silence.


     But the thing about life is that you can't always be the same. If you never change, never push yourself, then life gets boring and you miss out on a lot of what there is out there. With that in mind, I scheduled the seven-week trip, and then made sure to find other ways to get that down time, to relax on my own even in unfamiliar surroundings, and to ensure that I wouldn't get overly caught up in the little things so much that it ruined the bigger picture. It wasn't perfect, mind you, but I made it, and now I know I can do it.

     Personal growth isn't always easy. Yes, there were times when I seriously wanted to punch someone or something until life was the way I wanted it. Coming home wasn't easy, either, because the quiet, comfortable way of life I'd cultivated for so long didn't quite fit anymore. Things you've gotten used to or made excuses for in the past suddenly don't cut it, and you have to find a new way to live with who you are. Again, though, that's what keeps life fresh and new, and prevents you from stagnating. It won't always be easy, it won't always be fun, but in the end, you'll have discovered something about yourself (even if it's just "I don't like that!"), and moved on. Cheers!


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