Yes, as the title explains, I have bought a bike- and that's a bicycle rather than a motorcycle this time. It is substantially cheaper that the motorcycle was, even without the whole crashing-on-the-first-drive-home thing. Anyhow! In case you don't know why I decided to do this, despite being about as athletic as a panda bear, read on. If you do know the story already, skip ahead to the next post where current events resume.
For the last two years, I have forked over $174.25 per semester for what I believed was the privilege of having a parking spot on campus, and even in the same zip code as my classes. True, it was typically on-the-street parking, I would have to drive in circles til someone pulled out or I decided yes I really could fit my Honda in that spot, and I had to walk uphill to campus just to then walk downhill to where my classes were, but still, it was fairly convenient parking. This past semester, however, taught me all I need to know about campus parking, and the process by which parking admin officials' hearts slowly turn into shriveled husks of coal rather than warm, loving flesh.
Every spring, my college hosts a massive conference that wreaks absolute havoc on the lives of all students. Yes it's great that people come from all over the world to attend it, but it also means that navigating campus- whether on foot, on a bike or getting there by car- is chaotic. I knew this, however, and planned to get to campus a half an hour early (in addition to my habit of being 15 minutes early anyway), so I wouldn't be late for class. An admirable, but ultimately futile ambition. My parking area consists of about 3 parking lots and 4 streets where you can park. On this particular day, I circled that area for 40 minutes before realizing that no, there were no spots, and no one was coming out. Moreover, I'd now eaten into 10 of my 15 early minutes, and was pushing the clock for getting to class on time.
Despite the fact that the entire parking area is either cars, sorority houses, or other departments of the college that aren't important enough to be on campus, someone had seen fit to make 2 spots at the end of one street metered spots. No one ever parks there unless the lots are full, and then I see parking passes hanging in the window and the meter empty. Since I'd seen this before, I decided to do the same, as my options were that or parking at the town library, 7 blocks away, and being late for class. To my surprise, when I returned, I found a ticket on my window for "Failure to Pay Meter", despite my permit being hung clearly on my rear view. No worries though, I knew from previous experience that you get 3 "free" parking tickets per calendar year, so I decided to make the exhaustive trip to the complete other end of campus (where, naturally, the parking office is) the next day and get it taken off my record.
The next day was, of course, ridiculously hot, with no clouds in the sky to block the glaring eye of fire that was determined to bake everything beneath it. Nevertheless, I set off across campus after my classes were over, following a path I'd mapped out during the blizzards of the prior winter that took me through as many buildings as possible, most of which I probably shouldn't have been in in the first place. After 30 minutes of this non-direct, but less sun-burny route, I made it down to parking services and asked them to remove said ticket from my record, thinking this would take less than 3 minutes, and I could go home to some well-deserved ice cream. But no, fate would not be so kind.
The woman behind the 2" thick glass that they had determined was required for the dangerous job of being a parking administrator informed me that the three free tickets were only for forgetting to put your permit in the window, not for not feeding meters. In vain I pointed out that the lots were full, and the meters should be trumped by having a pass- after all, I'd paid for the bloody thing, didn't that mean I should have a parking spot? Oh no, she informed me... "Buying a permit only means that you can park in that area. It is not a guarantee that you will be able to. We oversell those lots by 25% to account for different student schedules."
Wow. I would say can you imagine if other businesses did that sort of thing, but it's become apparent that overselling and hoping no conflicts arise has become good business practice of late. Just ask anyone who shows up early for a flight and is told that, despite having paid and arrived as per their side of the deal, they may or may not be able to go on the flight. "Ha ha, just kidding, we were betting you wouldn't show up". What a fantastic idea. Enough of that rant though, back to parking.
Needless to say, I wasn't about to give them another $20 to cover for their crappy business plan, so I filed an appeal, fought the darn ticket, and won (due, no doubt, to my gift for eloquence when I'm angry about something). The judge's written response was "We'll let it go this once, since you have a clean record; don't do it again". Oh trust me, I have no plans of allowing you goons to hose me over like that again... just you wait.
Being as that my side of campus is bordered by a massive residential area, I came up with the brilliant (for now) plan of parking over there for free, and simply walking to campus. Sure, it would take a little longer, but what's a little time compared to $174.25 per semester (that's a whopping $348.50 per year for those of you keeping track)? Do you know how much I can do with that much money?! That's basically 2 months' worth of food for me. Just for the possibility of parking in an unregarded, unmonitored, unpaved corner of campus. So ha! I will buck the system and trade time for money, and get some exercise in the process! Then summer classes started, and I realized just how long of a walk that could be... and this was during summer when most of those houses aren't full of students. My plan would need revised slightly...
(Continue to part two)
For the last two years, I have forked over $174.25 per semester for what I believed was the privilege of having a parking spot on campus, and even in the same zip code as my classes. True, it was typically on-the-street parking, I would have to drive in circles til someone pulled out or I decided yes I really could fit my Honda in that spot, and I had to walk uphill to campus just to then walk downhill to where my classes were, but still, it was fairly convenient parking. This past semester, however, taught me all I need to know about campus parking, and the process by which parking admin officials' hearts slowly turn into shriveled husks of coal rather than warm, loving flesh.
Every spring, my college hosts a massive conference that wreaks absolute havoc on the lives of all students. Yes it's great that people come from all over the world to attend it, but it also means that navigating campus- whether on foot, on a bike or getting there by car- is chaotic. I knew this, however, and planned to get to campus a half an hour early (in addition to my habit of being 15 minutes early anyway), so I wouldn't be late for class. An admirable, but ultimately futile ambition. My parking area consists of about 3 parking lots and 4 streets where you can park. On this particular day, I circled that area for 40 minutes before realizing that no, there were no spots, and no one was coming out. Moreover, I'd now eaten into 10 of my 15 early minutes, and was pushing the clock for getting to class on time.
Despite the fact that the entire parking area is either cars, sorority houses, or other departments of the college that aren't important enough to be on campus, someone had seen fit to make 2 spots at the end of one street metered spots. No one ever parks there unless the lots are full, and then I see parking passes hanging in the window and the meter empty. Since I'd seen this before, I decided to do the same, as my options were that or parking at the town library, 7 blocks away, and being late for class. To my surprise, when I returned, I found a ticket on my window for "Failure to Pay Meter", despite my permit being hung clearly on my rear view. No worries though, I knew from previous experience that you get 3 "free" parking tickets per calendar year, so I decided to make the exhaustive trip to the complete other end of campus (where, naturally, the parking office is) the next day and get it taken off my record.
The next day was, of course, ridiculously hot, with no clouds in the sky to block the glaring eye of fire that was determined to bake everything beneath it. Nevertheless, I set off across campus after my classes were over, following a path I'd mapped out during the blizzards of the prior winter that took me through as many buildings as possible, most of which I probably shouldn't have been in in the first place. After 30 minutes of this non-direct, but less sun-burny route, I made it down to parking services and asked them to remove said ticket from my record, thinking this would take less than 3 minutes, and I could go home to some well-deserved ice cream. But no, fate would not be so kind.
The woman behind the 2" thick glass that they had determined was required for the dangerous job of being a parking administrator informed me that the three free tickets were only for forgetting to put your permit in the window, not for not feeding meters. In vain I pointed out that the lots were full, and the meters should be trumped by having a pass- after all, I'd paid for the bloody thing, didn't that mean I should have a parking spot? Oh no, she informed me... "Buying a permit only means that you can park in that area. It is not a guarantee that you will be able to. We oversell those lots by 25% to account for different student schedules."
Wow. I would say can you imagine if other businesses did that sort of thing, but it's become apparent that overselling and hoping no conflicts arise has become good business practice of late. Just ask anyone who shows up early for a flight and is told that, despite having paid and arrived as per their side of the deal, they may or may not be able to go on the flight. "Ha ha, just kidding, we were betting you wouldn't show up". What a fantastic idea. Enough of that rant though, back to parking.
Needless to say, I wasn't about to give them another $20 to cover for their crappy business plan, so I filed an appeal, fought the darn ticket, and won (due, no doubt, to my gift for eloquence when I'm angry about something). The judge's written response was "We'll let it go this once, since you have a clean record; don't do it again". Oh trust me, I have no plans of allowing you goons to hose me over like that again... just you wait.
Being as that my side of campus is bordered by a massive residential area, I came up with the brilliant (for now) plan of parking over there for free, and simply walking to campus. Sure, it would take a little longer, but what's a little time compared to $174.25 per semester (that's a whopping $348.50 per year for those of you keeping track)? Do you know how much I can do with that much money?! That's basically 2 months' worth of food for me. Just for the possibility of parking in an unregarded, unmonitored, unpaved corner of campus. So ha! I will buck the system and trade time for money, and get some exercise in the process! Then summer classes started, and I realized just how long of a walk that could be... and this was during summer when most of those houses aren't full of students. My plan would need revised slightly...
(Continue to part two)
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