Just wow.

As you know, I've been trying to come to terms with the recent death of my older sister, a topic I'll get into later when I've sorted it all out, as well as returning to the workforce after an absence of two and a half years. It's not been the easiest of weeks, and I was rather looking forward to Friday and the long weekend that followed. When I woke up this morning, however, I had 2 messages on my phone from overnight (I mute my phone at night, as I cherish my sleep). One was from a friend who'd gotten the news of Suzanne rather late, and was expressing her sympathies. The other, however, is what this post is about...

The second one, from my ex, ran as follows:

"So... I was poking around the internet and saw your blog page. What I saw there I do not appreciate. Back in January you made a post reflecting on our relationship in which you dropped my name several time [sic] as

Random reflections

"Individuals aren't naturally paid-up members of the human race, except biologically. They need to be bounced around by the Brownian motion of society, which is a mechanism by which human beings constantly remind one another that they are... well... human beings." - Terry Pratchett

I'm realizing the importance of this, lately. When I was younger (and didn't date), I figured I could learn from other people's mistakes. While I do feel I learned a lot from watching my friends date, and break up, and do the same things again with someone else, I'm beginning to realize I missed out on a couple lessons.

So! Things I have learned lately:

1. I do not need to cherish my anger, and let it rule me. It was fine when I was a teenager, I'm past that now.
2. I do not need to doubt myself, second guess my choices, or look to anyone else to validate me. That being said, it is good to touch base with a good friend now and then, so they can tell you if you're being stupid.

Reflections on relationships

Been fairly quiet on the home blog-front lately, didn't figure anything was really worth posting, but I guess I was wrong. Dad has mentioned a couple times he was curious what I was thinking with the whole marriage thing (not in a bad way, mind you!), and I guess now that it's coming to a close, it's as good a time as any to reflect on it.

In short, when I met dude (now ex), we really seemed to have a lot in common. We agreed that relationships took work, life was worth living every moment of to its fullest, and there was no point in sitting on the side and letting it pass you by. He expressed interest in picking up Russian to help me out, and I admit, I'm a sucker for someone who's willing to play along with my love of languages. We went hiking with the puppy in Garden of the Gods, we would spend hours talking about things, even difficult topics like money, kids, the future, etc. I was very happy, and felt I'd really connected with someone.

Pictures!

Ok guys, it took me a while, but I finally got all of the pictures uploaded and commented. Some of them are re-posts, as they are what I used for this blog, so you wouldn't have to wait 2 months to see what I was doing on the other side of the world, but there are upward of 400 pictures there, so there's bound to be some new ones! Here's the first one- the comments are underneath, and the next/ previous buttons are on the top right. I tried to make it a pretty slideshow, but there were too many pictures, and you wouldn't have gotten the trademark Lyssa comments. Go check 'em out!

On a slightly different topic: my post-travel thoughts. Looking back from the vantage point of having slept and eaten well for a week, I think I can take a more rational look at the trip overall, instead of being mired in the feelings of it. To start with: Yes, I am very, very glad I went. The things that I learned instinctively are invaluable- there is no way I could have memorized or studied the sensations and reactions to everyday Russian life in a classroom. For example, I will never be able to use the word for "next" (следующая), without remembering being in the metro on the way to/from school, and hearing "Next stop, Chkolovskaya" (следующая станция, Чкловская) - the station where school was. Nor will I ever forget sitting in the kitchen of an old apartment with ridiculously high ceilings, and having a German guy and his Russian girlfriend insisting I eat a billion blini and a bowl full of strawberries while we fumble and mime our way through three languages to explain how our days went. In terms of experience and keeping your mind open and flexible, I couldn't ask for more.

Home again, home again.

Just a quick update to let everyone knwo I'm alive and well at home. Did have that taco dinner with fresh fruit salad, and my friend and her beau made me laugh so hard I cried, so I am in a great mood. Just touching base with a few things and then a shower and bed- I've been awake now for over 50 hours. Sleepytime!