Things I have learned today:

1. If you want me to go insane, put me in a menial office job with no mental stimulation or sunlight. I'll last 3 days then start losing it.
   
2. I am mildly dyslexic with numbers, and this comes out more strongly when I'm going insane.
   
3. Just because I'm good or efficient at something, doesn't mean I want to do it. Usually, I get efficient at it so it can be over with faster.
   
4. If you want something done prettily, don't ask me to do it. I'll do it the fastest way to get the most effective job done, but it won't be pretty. You want pretty, you pay me a lot more, give me sunlight, and let me move around a lot. Machine conditions result in machine work, and that includes using scissors instead of a staple remover when I find out your lazy accounting people have put a staple into every page... literally... one staple per page... you get no pretty. You're lucky you get legible. Now go away.
   
5. Sitting on your butt with no mental challenge for hours on end is a good way to start snacking again. I am trying to resist this, but it's hard. Moving and thinking are the antidotes to eating excessively.

So I'm thinking that the office is not the place for me to be right now. I'm enjoying the sun and the breezes, and my ability to be politic to brainless office monkeys who want to go into detail about their adorable little angel's latest bout of bed-wetting is, well, nil. I have reached the point where I will just keep working while they talk, and they can blather at the back of my head if it make them feel special. The longer I spend wasting time with you, the longer I spend sitting on my butt not being outside. No thanks.

Well then, Lyssa, what are you actually happy about? Gracious, loads!!! If you like Grumpy Lyssa and snarky stories, don't read this next bit, as it's actually slightly uplifting.

Irish dance is going extremely well, despite having actually drawn blood with a badly aimed hardshoe last night. We are ramping up for a few performances in the next month, and I feel pretty good about them, despite having not been able to practice much, what with everything going on. I've also added Zumba classes (go look it up!) on Sundays, as that gets the core and arm workouts that I've been missing in Irish dance. I still can't keep up for the full hour yet, but I'm getting better!

I finally got a hold of someone in the financial aid dept at CU who knew what the heck they were doing, and it looks like yes, I will still get the same amount of financial aid as I did before. Considering they were looking to take away $9,000 each semester, this is a very, very good thing. As such, if I find a part-time job, I might actually have enough to start saving again, and maybe get some things I've been going without for the last few years. Random things like a timer for the kitchen (been using my cell phone), shorts for the summer, stuff that isn't the least expensive thing I can possibly buy, real clothes... little things that mean a lot when you don't have them.

Along the same lines, I realized that there are only 2 months left til classes start again, and I am *very* excited about this semester. With any new language, there is a point where you stop learning all the little pieces and start putting it together. It's when you, proverbially, graduate from Dr Seuss books and start reading real ones. When you stop having people baby-talk to you, and can hold your own in a real conversation. I love hitting this point, because it means it's no longer just a hobby: I've actually accomplished something. This fall will be dedicated to Russian literature and, according to the prof, "the most intense course of Russian you will ever take. But when you are done with this year, you will be able to translate almost anything that comes at you." And when Tatiana tells you something, you know it's true. Am I scared? Oh yes.. she is a scary teacher, and having a year be more intense than the last one is something I'm not ecstatic about. But she teaches you so that you'll learn, and you don't forget for fear she'll find out. It's stressful, and I'm sure I'll get worn out, but it's so worth it.

So dance and languages, right? What else is there to be excited about?! Well, when I'm not in a funk, lots! I'm living alone for the first time in my life, and loving it. I won't say my house is always spotless, but it's rarely a mess, and there's plenty of space and light. I have two plants that are growing outrageously, and while I'd love to have a garden, I don't really have the time for it, so plants 1 and 2 get lots of love. World of Warcraft, while still important, has kinda gotten pushed aside for a while. When I am on, though, the guild is doing well, people are helping each other out, and the general atmosphere is really positive. It's great to see something like that come together, and then thrive on its own so I can turn my attention to other things.

Honestly, life is pretty good, despite the sunless, monotonous office work at the moment. I still have to deal with the occasional sense that I'm not really accomplishing anything in life, but I just have to remind myself that school is a part of the journey, and I shouldn't focus too much on just the destination. I'm learning a lot, about languages and dance, as well as about myself, and that's priceless. Cheers!