Ma Veracité: Realists and unrealists

In light of my previous post, I'd like to continue taking a look at "-ists" and "-isms" in regards to world views. Specifically, for the purpose of this post, realists. More specifically, how I think that real realists are far less prevalent than they seem to be at first glance. Now, I admit that before I solidified the opinions presented in the optimism post, I, too, considered myself a realist. I tried to take life as it came to me, good and bad, and keep my expectations in the realm of the probable. However, I noticed a disturbing trend that ultimately goaded me into reconsidering my stance on life.

More and more, when I talk to someone about -isms, the conversation goes something like this:

Them: (Something particularly bleak and cynical)
Me: Wow, that was... optimistic...
Them: No, I'm not an optimist or a pessimist, I'm a realist.
Me: But you just pointed out all the worst possible things that could happen....
Them: Well? That's usually how life is. It rarely goes well.
Me: So... wouldn't that make you a pessimist then?
Them: WHAT? NO! I'm not some whiny little glass-is-half-empty gloom-cookie! I just see through all
the bull**** in life and know how terrible reality is!
Me: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what pessimism is: always seeing the worst in life.
Them: Gawd, why do I even bother talking to you?
(Storms off, ranting about how pointlessly un-negative I am.)

Now, don't get me wrong, bad things do happen in the world, I agree. But there are also plenty of good things, convenient coincidences, and amazing, fun stuff in the world as well. Falling back on the local authorities, Mirriam-Webster's defines pessimism as follows:

An inclination to emphasize adverse aspects, conditions and possibilities or to expect the worst possible outcome.
the doctrine that reality is essentially evil
the doctrine that evil overbalances happiness in life

By contrast, realism gets the following description:

concern for fact or reality and rejection of the impractical and visionary
(There are other definitions for realism, but they pertain to physics, metaphysics, and/ or art. Not my scope by any means.)

In a nutshell, here is the difference between the two. See if you can guess which is which!

So let's see if we can narrow this down logically. I was raised on IF/THEN statements in computer programming, and to this day, that's what I use to reason things out.

IF pessimism is the tendency to focus on the negative or expect the worse,

AND you are always whining about the bad things that happened/ will happen while ignoring the good,

THEN you are a pessimist.

IF pessimism is the belief that reality is, in essence, bad,

AND you insist that good things are not good but rather something that you are, somehow, owed, and

therefore irrelevant to the conversation at hand,

THEN you are a pessimist.

IF you constantly spout nothing but negativity and cynicism,

AND you refuse to do anything to make it better, even such a small thing as refocusing your mind,

therefore allowing the evil in your life to take over the happiness that exists,

THEN, ladies and gentlemen... you are a pessimist.

IF, contrariwise, you acknowledge both the good and the bad in life,

AND you reject absolutely all (in all areas of life) impractical and idealistic thoughts,

THEN, and only then, can you call yourself a realist, and be correct.

Still with me? This is where the soapbox comes out, hang on to yourselves.

I understand that everyone has their own ideals, I truly do. On a college campus, you really can't escape that, since college is where most people learn of, explore, and form idealisms and world views. Some are, to me, funny, some are silly, some are solid, and some are downright scary, but everyone is absolutely entitled to their own world view. What ticks me off is when people who claim to be staring at un-occluded reality, free of any veils of inanity or idealism- people who claim to be sane, sensible and logical- refuse to admit that their idealisms are completely out of whack with that very same reality they claim to hold so dearly.

There have been times when I have stuck with the argument and tried to point out the inconsistencies. Every single time, I get this: "Well, I'm not a pessimist, but I've found that if you expect the worst, then sometimes you'll be pleasantly surprised. If you expect good things in life, then you get let down all the time. This way, I never have to be let down."

Well, pardon me for saying so, but that's the most spineless reasoning I've ever heard. Instead of having a happy life, and occasionally having things not go exactly your way, you're going to live a miserable life, seeing only the bad things, so that you don't ever have to deal with disappointment? I'll just let you imagine my response to that, but trust me, it isn't very supportive of that way of thinking.

Yes, I get it. Wars happen, people die, puppies are kicked, fortunes are lost, and people generally manage to be absolutely horrible to each other on a daily basis. But despite that, peace is eventually declared, babies are born, whales are saved, paychecks are earned, and there is a huge amount of good going on in the world every day as well. The person who slows down to let you in during morning traffic; finding the coffee pot full of your favorite blend at 6am; getting a wave and a hello from a stranger when you're having a bad day- heck, even just realizing that you have a place to sleep, food to eat, and possibly a mode of transportation and people who love you- are these not positives in life? Or do these people just think that those are deserved rewards, and therefore don't need to be noticed? If so, I have further words for those people... to be aired only in private.

Anyway, the next time you hear someone say they're a realist, listen to what their other words have to say. And so help me, if you're talking to me and the situation is anything like this: